We assume you guys are smart enough to know when the above future Rolling Stone cover where all the female Hills stars get together (including LC and Heidi Montag – OMFG, right?) and Heidi and Spencer go on Tyra and re-confirm the rumored Lauren Conrad sex tape that someone is planning to make money off of dredging up old plotlines.

The whole reason Lauren Conrad doesn’t like Heidi Montag is hinged on the opinion that Heidi spread rumors about a LC sex tape. That’s how they started hating each other and that’s how Spencer and Heidi made the show their own.

Now that The Hills seems to have peaked on the pop culture charts…

…Well, here comes this bullshit again.

This weekend was the annual White House Correspondent’s Association Dinner, an event for journalists who cover the White House (you know, hence the name).

This year brought a few celebrity culture folks to the dinner, which made us realize that the dinner will never be as cool as when Steven Colbert silenced the room with his brilliant speech quietly mocking George W. Bush to his face.

“The Dinner” is soooooo 2006.

And now, The Bad and Ugly brings you our list of people who should NOT have been invited to, attended or even mentioned at the White House Correspondent’s Association Dinner (all images can be made bigger!).

Lauren Conrad – Dammit, LC! Is there no where you can’t go? The more we see Lauren Conrad out and about at “real” events like this, the more we wish that MTV told us what to say all the time.

Pam Anderson – Yeah, she was there and dressed like a slut. We don’t know who thought inviting Pam Anderson was a good idea because not only is she non-topical in the current news cycle, but IN NO WAY is currently part of any media. She exists, right now, purely as tabloid fodder.

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz – The sad thing is, if we met this couple in a normal situation, we probably would only find them mildly annoying. And we find some of our good friends mildly annoying. But these two are just trying to promote Ashee’s new album and their engagement by fostering pregnancy rumors and showing up where they shouldn’t be.

Perez Hilton – He blogs about politics more than we do, but he also draws cum dripping from the mouths of his subjects. So, any argument anyone tries to make about him representing a “new” kind of journalism, obviously reads Perez Hilton instead of the dozens or more intelligent blogs (notice how we don’t arge that we should have been there, because we would have made our own list).

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt – Are you shitting me?!?!? This is a new low for the White House. No one even knew who these two fucktards were two years ago.

(We’ll give Rosario Dawson a pass because she’s hot and only shows up at the after party.)

New York Magazine is the first media outlet to unabashedly declare Gossip Girl one of the best shows ever. Which is funny, because we have been actively avoiding it.

The show is based on a series of books with the same name and we had to go to Wikipedia to learn that it’s about Upper East Side brats: They gossip, do drugs, and drink, but they also deal with sex and relationship problems. These characters attend elite private single-sex schools, where their lives are watched by an unseen character who runs a blog about them, and is always on the lookout for the scoop on everything and everyone.

Jessica Pressler and Chris Rovzar write a weekly blog on NYMag.com and have quietly turned it to one of the Gossip Girl centers on the internet, of which there are increasingly more (unsettling?).

In the cover-story, Jess and Chris give six reasons why we should be watching Gossip Girl, and we cover them all after the jump.

That’s right, Spencer was seen scheming with MTV to get Heidi and him their own show a-la Newlyweds, where they will inevitably break-up during and/or after the show.

We guess that part is good news.

Other people we think should get their own show before Heidi and Spencer?

Us.

Oh man, maybe we do want to meet Heidi Montag after all. We want to sequester her in a room and just record her everyday soundbytes as we ask her about her “career.”

The Hills Movie is just a massively bad rumor, but it’s out there as we mentioned earlier.

Sadly, the Heidi/Spencer storyline would be strangely absent from a film, at least according to Heidi Montag who said: “I’ve never discussed a movie possibility for The Hills…and I’m not sure if for my first movie I’d let Lauren Conrad narrate me, so I don’t think that would be something I would do.

“If I was doing movies, I’d want it to be with Denzel Washington or something like that. If they were to make a Hills movie, I wouldn’t be in it. No, thank you.”

Yes, jumping from faux-reality TV to Denzel Washington co-star makes perfect sense. Isn’t that what Ethan Hawke did? What about Russel Crowe? Clive Owen? Jodie Foster? Meryl Streep?

Yup, long list of fake actors in that list.

Heidi might have jumped the shark with this one, and we might just want to watch her stupidity as it evolves.

MTV’s completely-scripted reality TV series needs to fire an editor. The poor cutting team is probably all tuckered out.
Let’s just say that we know some people who edit for Viacom and they know they are editing drivel most of the time, but they do the best they can until they just can’t anymore.

Maybe that’s what happened to someone working on last night’s episode of The Hills (which we didn’t watch), because Molly Good snagged these screen caps of Spencer Pratt from the same scene

Yeah, this is totally real.

We really want to hate the MTV audience, and they are doing little to stop us with their continued obsession with this show.