We’re going to try to save all our ranting for under the cut. Luckily, the news doesn’t come with a date when this all will be going down.

AP writes:

“Jimmy’s proven track record and personality make him a natural for this important role that will bring a new generation of fans to ‘Late Night,’ ” said Marc Graboff, who co-chairs NBC Entertainment and Universal Media Studios with Ben Silverman, in a statement. “He will put his own distinct mark on late night humor just as he did on ‘SNL’ and in his other creative endeavors.”
“Simply put, Jimmy has all of the qualities for a late night host — in addition to being funny, he loves talking to people on and off camera, he’s a talented comedy writer and his time at ‘SNL’ demonstrated not only his ability to entertain, but also the work ethic and dedication it takes to succeed at hosting a nightly show,” added Rick Ludwin, Executive Vice President, Late Night and Primetime Series, NBC Entertainment.

Let’s see…what’s the first thing that comes to mind here….?

It’s a black day in late-night talk-show…um…history.

NBC execs are buzzing that they will replace Conan O’Brien (when Conan takes over The Tonight Show) with…Jimmy Fallon.

Jimmy Fallon.

Let that sink in. The utter stupidity of it. Are they going for a female audience? Did Fallon, we dunno, marry into Ben Silverman’s family?

Maybe the man will come out and surprise us with his relatability. As bad as we feel about saying this, Fallon’s “everyman” quality is pretty high.

Then again, he didn’t exactly go out with a bang from SNL. But who does.

Expect an announcement May 11th-ish when NBC reveals its fall schedule to advertisers.

Last May, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno did a live commercial for Garmin car navigation systems. It was the first time in 14 years that a commercial had been done live as part of the program it was sponsoring.

This used to be normal practice in the early days of television when one large company would take over responsibility for the show. It’s not really a “live commercial” but one of the classic examples of old-time advertising is The Flinstones’ black and white Winson Cigarette ad in the 60s:

Since then, wide syndication and multiple sponsors in different regions has all but killed the live commercial.

Until this May, when Jimmy Kimmel will begin running live ads on his late night show Jimmy Kimmel Live.

The new ads are in response to TiVo allowing viewers to simply skip the ads large conglomerates are paying out the ass for you to watch.

No word yet on who Kimmel is going to push, but we can confirm that ad execs are watching this pretty closely.

Tracey Morgan was a shining beacon of light in this week’s dismal SNL.

This is absurd because Tracey’s theory is right on, but he manages to distract us with the racist humor we all love.

57-year-old Jay Leno is supposed to step down from the Tonight Show desk next year when Conan O’Brien will seamlessly transition to the big leagues and take on either Letterman, or – we hope – Letterman’s replacement (Jon <strike>Stuart</strike>Stewart - too much blow energy drink?).

Thing is, Jay isn’t ready to call it just yet, which is basically a cash-register sound for every network out there. Jay is still top of the ratings, even during he writer’s strike when he was accused of scabbing by writing his own monologues.

Now, the NY Times has this interesting paragraph about the lengths that Sony is willing to go to land Jay and ratings.

Sony Pictures Television has made an approach through intermediaries to let Mr. Leno and his representatives know that as soon as he is allowed to discuss his next move, the studio will make him a rich offer for a syndicated late-night show that would make him the highest-paid host in late-night television, put his name on a new theater on the Sony lot and give him a financial interest in Sony music artists who appear on his show.

That means that if Jay wanted Burt Bacharach on his show, he’s get a cut from Burt Bacharach (he’s on Columbia, a Sony subsidiary). That means Jay could MAKE Burt Bacharach again if he so chose, giving him air time and finically sharing in the profits.

This is a big deal coming from someone like Sony, and even if Jay doesn’t take this particular one, it goes to show that Jay Leno will stay on the air until he’s damn well ready to leave.

We can’t imagine what sort of relationship Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel have that allows them to use the huge budgets of their various projects to poke fun at each other. It was hard to listen to the Jesus Is Magic jokes Sarah made about her unnamed husband without thinking of Jimmy, and Jimy continues to interview her on his show occasionally.

Most recently when she claimed she was fucking Matt Damon, which – as Kimmel says in the clip below – was bigger than the far Star Wars kid (we doubt that, but we nderstand the sentiment).

So, Kimmel out does himself, pulling a some big stars like Brad Pitt, Rebecca Romjin, Harrison Ford, Christina Applegate, Cameron Diaz, Macy Gray, Joan Jett, Don Cheadle, Pete Wentz, Josh Groban, Perry Farrell, The Madden douches, Dominic Monaghan, Robin Williams, Huey Lewis and some other folks we probably didn’t recognize.

If you haven’t been following the huge Daily Show/Colbert Report/Conan gimmick used to draw people to all three shows while they’ve been missing their writers, you’ve missed a lot.

It all boils down to who “created” whom, usually Mike Huckabee.

A blog called “Late Night Underground” has a video of the three hosts filming their big brawl.

You can watch that here, but stick around for a second so we can tell you what’s going on.

They all did dramatic entrances on each others show and built to this little gem on Late Night with Conan O’Brian:

Ok, now that you sort of know what happens, go watch the behind the scenes video to see how these jokes are written and performed. Not to mention how badass Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert and Conan O’Brian really are.

Sarah Silverman lit up Jimmy Kimmel’s 5th year anniversary with a musical confession that all along, she’s been fucking Matt Damon.

Oh, we can’t wait for her to squirm for this one. Despite a rumored ban that Hilton put on David Letterman appearances after her last uncomfortable trip to the couch (priceless video within), Paris is coming back to Dave’s show.

With the writer’s strike still taking away everything we love about scripted television, we have little more to do then to follow the pithy back-and-forth between two of our favorite late night hosts.

Within are the corresponding videos from The Colbert Report and Late Night With Conan O’Brian Re: Who made Huckabee?

In a here-by unprecedented act of desperation, late night hosts Jimmy Kimmel and Jay Leno did each others shows last night.

Check out both interviews within.

Those who were in attendance for yesterday’s lackluster return of The Daily Show got an earful from Jon Stewart before taping. The controversy, as explained by Stuart, is that he approached the WGA in an attempt to get a pass for The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, much like Letterman’s deal through his company […]

No writers for each of the Comedy Central funny-men means a lot of improv if the Jay Leno situation is anything similar.

The late night ratings are in, and NBC’s Conan and Leno beat out WGA-friendly Letterman and Ferguson. This is pretty inexplicable. Not so much Conan as Leno. Who even watches Leno anymore?