Hey, guys! Remember Anna Nicole Smith and her horrible death of horribleness that might have had more to do with who got her son, who killed her other son and who inherited her millions she herself inherited from an old guy who wanted to boink a hot ditz for a few years? I think she had a reality show I didn’t watch as well.

Put on your 2007 hats, because Howard Stern and two doctors, Sandeep Kapoor and Khristine Eroshevich, have been handed down felony charges for the prescription drugs (including sweet opiates and sedatives) they illegally gave to Smith in the years leading up to her death…

While the entire world finds the Chris Brown beating on Rihanna story inescapable, Nickelodeon seems to have just noticed that they still had him nominated for Kids Choice Awards. Oops.

Cue the inter-office memo:

Subject: KCA EMERGENCY!

All,
We have to remove Chris Brown from Voting, Nominees & any other content (Flipbooks, Video, UPick)
The plan is to remove CB from Fav Male Singer & Fav Song in Voting as well as Nominees.
[blank] is reformatting the Voting page now. [blank] is working on the Voting backend.
Here are the lists of tasks & responsibilities

Voting:
Reformat Voting by 2m
Voting edit by 3pm

Nominees:
3pm
4pm

Other content:
Video:
Flipbooks:
UPD:
All Site inits:
Message Boards:
SEO:

Producers: Please scan the site & call out any mention of Chris Brown anywhere.

Please report back with your progress.

Good luck, Viacom permalance web staffers! You only have an hour an a half to go!

Yes, I’m ready to call it: Chris Brown is a horrible person who deserves to go to jail or get the shit kicked out of him.

Luckily, one or the other is bound to happen.

Here’s the thing that made me decide that Brown was past objectivity, it’s the summery of an LAPD Dectective’s notes on the initial attack on Rihanna from TMZ:

According to the notes, Rihanna read a three-page text message on Brown’s phone from a woman. An argument ensued and Brown allegedly tried forcing Rihanna out of the car but couldn’t because she was wearing her seat belt.Brown then allegedly shoved Rihanna’s head against the passenger window. When Rihanna turned to face him, Brown punched her, then continued punching her while driving, according to the detective’s notes. Blood spattered all over Rihanna’s clothing and in the interior of the car. Her mouth was filled with blood. Brown allegedly told Rihanna, “I’m going to beat the **** out of you when we get home. You wait and see.” Rihanna called her assistant and left a message saying, “I am on my way home. Make sure the cops are there when I get there.” Brown then replied, “You just did the stupidest thing ever. I’m going to kill you.” According to the report, Brown continued to punch Rihanna, bit her on her ear, her fingers and put her in a headlock — she almost lost consciousness.

And even though this kind of unforgivable shit is happening to women the world wide, this dude is famous and beat up his famous girlfriend, so some very real consequences are coming down the line:

The L.A. County District Attorney has just charged Chris Brown with felony assault and making a criminal threat, also a felony. The charging documents name “Robyn F.” as the alleged victim. Brown will be arraigned today at 3:30 PM in downtown LA. A spokesperson for the D.A. tells TMZ he could face a maximum of four years and eight months in prison.

At this point, the dude better hope he gets convicted, or Jay-Z will most certainly have him killed.

No reason why our Monday edict to bring you coverage of other people’s NY Comic Con Coverage should stop us from bringing you the latest in celebrity news. Namely, why R&B star Chris Brown and sexy popstress Rihanna were absent from their Grammy performances last night, and why they canceled at the last minute.

UPDATED (below the cut)!

Above is the Whilshire Police Station in Los Angeles, where Chris Brown turned himself in, yesterday at 7PM…

Time for the latest update in the 20th Century Fox/Warner Brothers battle over the distribution rights to Warner’s Watchmen, slated to hit theaters this March if all goes well.Fox, in a surprise ruling, won the distribution rights to Watchmen because they originally owned the rights (decades ago) and decided not to do anything with them, and not to say anything, until Warner Bros’ incarnation made big buzz as a trailer ahead of The Dark Knight. Then, after much internet bitching, it became apparent that Warner Bros is going to fight this, though they most likely will end up paying out a settlement to Fox to see their movie released and not piss off the international fan base (knowing studios, this is the last thing they are thinking about).

Fox’s way of fighting the release was to seek and injunction against the film, and both parties went to Judge Gary A. Feess, who will decide whether to issue an injunction against the Watchmen. We initially thought we wouldn’t hear a verdict until January 20th, but Warner’s is not letting the process cool its afterburners…

During the production of W in Louisiana last July, actors Josh Brolin and Jeffrey Wright were amongst a portion of the crew that were arrested outside the Stray Cat bar. Lighting tech Eric Felland was charged with resisting arrest and public intoxication. Wright, Brolin and four other people were charged with interfering with police.

Now, TMZ has released video of the arrest that frames the incident from a whole new angle: In the video, viewers see Brolin and Wright standing hugging as they are sprayed with pepper spray and then separated by cops. Brolin is made to kneel and is handcuffed while Wright gets laid out on the street and repeatedly tasered, as the cellphone camerawoman screams in protests.

The video lead to charges against Brolin being dropped.

Check it out for yourself under the cut…

Hey, idiots at 20th Century Fox:

Stop it. Just take your damn money and stop this.

You want money, you don’t want to stop Watchmen from being released, because if you do, people like me will go to people who think Watchmen looks awesome (read: the majoirty of people who saw the trailer) and make damn sure they know exactly who got Watchmen pulled from a March 2009 release.

20th Century Fox: killers of quality entertainment.

There is a chance that this is just a feint to get Warners ready to pony up the maximum amount, but when suit meets suit on the battlefield, they aren’t thinking of people who actually want to see the movie. Warners moved Harry Potter from this November to Summer 2009. They are sitting on a movie with a built in audience just to make more money. They WILL go to court rather than release Watchmen at a loss.

FOX: Stop it.

“Read More” to get the details…