It looks like Christopher Mintz-Plasse to join the ranks of Vern Troyer and the cast of Napoleon Dynamite.

Thank God he has uber-hot Kristin Bell to help get word out about the cause.

Rapper and “reality TV star” Vanilla Ice was arrested and booked yesterday in a Palm Beach County Jail on charges of simple domestic battery.

Police responded to a domestic battery call from Ice’s wife, Laura Van Winkle who claimed that her husband was hitting and kicking her. When the police got to the house, Robert Van Winkle, AKA Mr. Ice was on his motorcycle 2 blocks from the house.

The police brought Van Winkle-Ices to talk over the domestic dispute, and the way the local paper describes it, the officers were in for a series of crazy stories of no consequence:

Back at the house on Trianon Place, Laura Van Winkle appeared uninjured and was less forthcoming, saying she did not want to deal with media attention but wants a divorce, according to a deputy’s report. She said her husband had not hit or kicked her, but had pushed her.

“He started yelling at me for going out to buy a bedroom set. In front of my daughter,” she told a deputy, the arrest report says. “I’m sorry I can’t say any more until I talk to an attorney.”

Her husband, in turn, told deputies that he and his wife had been arguing since the previous day.

He said his wife is bipolar and takes medication but still has irrational and argumentative episodes and had thrown a picture frame from a rear balcony to the ground, where it shattered near him and their 8- and 10-year-old children.

He denied pushing his wife, the report says. He said he left on his motorcycle so they could cool down.

Ok, there must be some soft language in this article, because how hard does a push have to be before it crosses into “simple domestic battery?” Or, alternatively, why is nothing made of Mrs. Ice’s exaggeration, followed by her glossing over of the details unless she talked to her lawyer?

A woman and her husband are fighting because he yelled in front of their daughter and somehow it escalated to a push and a motorcycle ride.

Vanilla, may we call him Vanilla?, even claims that the push never went down.

We are in no way suggesting that attacking one’s partner physically or verbally is a good thing, but where’s the line of battery?

Don’t feel too bad for Ice, this isn’t his first offense. He spent a night in jail after a domestic dispute in 2001 as well.

Audrina Patridge has really made this transparent.

First, we got word that there were naked pictures of her online from an “old” pre The Hills photoshoot she did trying to get into Playboy. Then, more of those photos were released without so much as a word as to where they were coming from.

Did the old pictures stink of self-release? Not entirely, but that option was there, especially with their release corresponding with the premiere of the extended Hills season on MTV.

Now, with a new photoset emerging on TMZ, it’s pretty damn obvious that Audrina is posting naked pictures of herself to bolster buzz. Ditto for her lame attempt at Pop Fiction.

We’re a fan of hot younglings as much as the next group of dudes, but it’s pretty despicable to see someone do this just for publicity.

Check out the extensive photoset for free, here.

We happened to attend a party for the GenArt film festival’s opening here in NYC and managed to lay eyes on/brush up against Callum Best of the recent Lindsay Lohan fake blowjob scandal.

We tried to harangue the videographer at the event to film us asking Best about the event, but were told not to ruin their classy party with our low class musings.

We will say that the guy was wearing a star of David necklace (unironically) and lives up to his reputation of being a douchebag who is too good for anyone that isn’t a model or actress.

Just thought we’d put that out there. From the guy who looked into the horses mouth: Callum Best = Douche.

Also, now that we know Lindsay Lohan has terrible taste in guys, we don’t feel so bad for going unnoticed.

Superhero Movie is going to suck, we’re pretty damn sure. And if you are one of the people who shot Meet The Spartans to #1 it’s opening weekend, we are ready to fight you.

Not really.

Don’t hurt us.

It’s been a few days of this YouTube clip from Superhero Movie floating around the internet. It’s of actor Miles Fisher impersonating Tom Cruise in his now-famous batshit crazy Scientology video.

Someone needs to get Miles Fisher some real work, because this is a nice piece of comedy acting buried in a movie not a lot of people will see, especially when it’s the victim of a Fanboys boycott.

The man has a bit part in 2003’s Gods and Generals and starred in a tiny 2000 comedy called Lone Star Struck, which we can’t find much on because it shares a name with one of the most popular Dallas Cowboys fan pages in existence.

Someone sign this guy up for a 30 Rock guest spot or something. We decree it.

We mentioned earlier today how much we dislike Spencer Pratt. Take everything we said about Spencer, add some blonde hair and nice boobs and you have Heidi Montag.

Without the boobs, which she hasn’t displayed (unlike some Hills cast members), there is no reason to like Heidi Montag.

Her new “single,” off of some mysterious album that may or may not be coming in the future, is called “No More” and that’s exactly what we want from her.

We really, really really (really, really) dislike Spencer Pratt, the blonde bimbo from MTV’s The Hills. He has been trying to make himself a real celebrity for awhile now, but continues to fail miserably because…

…he has no real talent!

Take the new advice column he has been hired to write for Radar. The man doesn’t give good advice because no one should want to grow up to be Spencer Pratt.

Our evidence:

YO SPENCER! I just started dating this guy who I really like. The other night, we went out and got hammered. I ended up passing out in his bed. When I woke up, I discovered that I had wet the bed. I was so embarrassed that I left while he was still asleep. If I call him, do I have to apologize or can I pretend it never happened? Or do I have to wait for him to call me?

HE’S LISTENING
Wow! This is a situation you do not want to find yourself in. I personally would never want to be with a girl who gets so wasted that she’s pissing in bed. It’s time to sign up for AA, my dear, because drunks are not sexy. Regardless, if the guy’s really, really, really cool, he might understand. But I wouldn’t count on it. Best bet is to be honest and tell him that was the drunkest you’ve ever been and that it was a huge mistake and it’ll never happen again. And make sure you buy him new sheets.

Here is a story that Dave was told was 100% true that answers this question in a helpful, entertaining manner:

There was this guy, let’s call him Sammy. Sammy got really drunk and ended up going home with this girl he met at a bar. Sex was had, and the girl wasn’t too bad looking, so he spent the night.

Sammy awoke the next day to discover that he had shit the bed.

Sammy’s initial reaction was to book it and hope that sleeping beauty and him never met again. No one wants to wake up in a shit-bed after a one-night-stand, so Sammy ditched that idea for what might have been the only sliver of decency he had on him.

He was not decent enough to wake up the girl, apologize and clean the bed. That was the second thing he thought of.

What Sammy finally decided on doing was very gently, and very quietly, push the majority of the shit under the girl, wash himself and fall back asleep next to her.

They are still dating to this day, thanks to Sammy’s willingness to forgive a very unfortunate and embarrassing evening for a random drunk woman.

So, we’re not on The Hills. We have this advice thing down pat.