Is May 6th 2011 too far to look ahead? Not if you are Marvel, riding atop a wave of success that can only be dethroned by a larger-than-expected Speed Racer showing.

Cinema Blend is reporting that Marvel is jumping the gun already, talking about who is going to pick up the Captain America cowl for Cap’s big-screen debut.

IMG: /Film

“Guns, tits, ass, no acting!”

—Sienna Miller describing to a fan her new film, the live-action G.I. Joe, Paramount’s big summer movie for 2009

What the hell? When did everyone start liking Hilary Duff so much? She came in at number 7 on FHM’s Top 100 Girls We Like To Masturbate To list, and now she’s getting an offer to be in the new iteration of 90210?

Neither the CW or Hillary’s camp is saying anything, but E! seems to have the line on the offer:

According to sources, Hilary’s potential character is that of Annie Mills…Annie is a Beverly Hills High student who is into theater acting, just like her predecessor. But instead of Color Me Badd, she’s listening to emo bands. She yearns to fit in with the alternative crowd and leans a lot on her adopted brother, Dixon, too.

Good lord. A Hilary-Duff-powered 90210 would make a serious pull for those growing out of Hanna Montana and would probably also pick up Gossip Girl’s audience. We’re not saying this is a bad idea, just one we could be more psyched about.

Why are so many mother uckers ucking with our shit?

Hear the sounds of a TV show crying out in anguished pain? Let’s just finish it off already!

Cashmere Mafia, ABC’s frosh drama that tried – and failed – to bank on the Desperate Housewives formula has been doing so horribly that rumors of the shows impending cancellation have been flying since week two.

The show even had Lucy Liu as Mia Mason. That’s a name that should bring ratings from those ex-Allie McBealers! But…it didn’t.

Now, Liu is gearing up to take a place beside Peter Krause, Donald Sutherland, William Baldwin, Natalie Zea, Glenn Fitzgerald, Blair Underwood, Seth Gabel, Zoe McLellan and Jill Clayburgh. We are, of course, talking about ABC’s Dirty Sexy Money, which hasn’t been doing that bad for the network so down-and-out it picked up the Scrubs scraps from the Peacock.

Liu has been offered the part of an attorney, which doesn’t matter as much as the fact that this attorney would be a series regular.

Even if Cashmere managed to pull a second season out of its ass, Liu’s character would be relegated to cameo status.

We hope someone at ABC bothered to tell the Mafia show-runners who were last seen trying to crawl out the under-sized basement window of ABC’s offices.

Where as yesterday’s Scarlett Johansson preview surprisingly moved a fair amount of people to tell us how much it sucked, today we bring you Zooey Deschanel (Elf, TV’s Tin Man) and M Ward with Yo La Tengo on Conan, singing their single off their album Volume I: “Why Do You Le Me Stay Here?”

Can’t they just make music together? Or just shoot a video of them making out.

Either/or. We’re not picky.

We may be called The Bad and the Ugly, but that’s only because it’s so much easier to find those things than it is to find good and hot things.

Good and hot like these new photos of Transformers star Megan Fox holding various types of animals she owns.

These photos are from Paw Print magazine and really have us considering putting up one “hot photoset” post a day.

Would that be something you are interested in?

Seriously, tell us, otherwise we’ll just get lazy.

You know that really crappy Patrick Dempsey movie that’s currently besieging your TVs and theaters with previews of him becoming a bridesmaid or some shit during his “best friend/love interest’s” Scottish wedding?

Yeah, that movie looks horrible, but there is a non-horrible movie like it coming out by John Hamburg, the guy who wrote Along Came Polly, Zoonlander and Meet The Parents/Fockers.

It star’s Forgetting Sarah Marshall’s Jason Segel as a newly engaged guy who is looking for his best man.

Apparently, one of the applicants is another Apatow alum, Paul Rudd as the two filmed a scene yesterday in LA.

Also in the “hey, look, no spoilers!” category of set photos: Jennifer Aniston is on the set of Marley and Me, her movie with Owen Wilson that is based on the memoirs of John Grogan, who loved his dog Marley.

Yes, it’s a dog movie. Meaning the guy who is trying to block Jenn from the cameras is: “The PA who worked on that dog flop, but spent most of his time stoically standing in front of Jennifer Aniston.”

We wouldn’t mind that job, we suppose.

We think everyone should shoot their films in New York, out in the daylight, where you might actually meet some people and be in view of the photographers. It’s been pretty sweet for all involved and – if nothing else – the B&U staff now has to see this movie.

We don’t know anything about his character or his part of the short film, but here’s Hayden playing basketball.

It’s hard to tell in the photos, but we bet our right nuts that it’s the caged basketball courts on 6th Ave between 4th and 5th streets.

We’ve been there, staring through the chain-link fence at basketball that’s far more interesting than pro basketball.

It almost makes us think that Hayden Christensen might actually be good at basketball. Then, at least he’d be good at something…

It looks like Christopher Mintz-Plasse to join the ranks of Vern Troyer and the cast of Napoleon Dynamite.

Thank God he has uber-hot Kristin Bell to help get word out about the cause.

Why are we siding with Rob Lowe on this one? Because Jessica Gibson and Laura Boyce could have just let this all go away. Instead, Gibson got Gloria Allred.

Gloria Allred is the biggest famewhoring lawyer currently working just based on how often we are forced to write her name. Remember that big bear of a bodyguard who saw Britney Spears do drugs, but didn’t want to be identified because he only wanted to blow the whistle for the sake of Brit’s kids? Well, he hired Allred and then was on Larry King.

Seriously, this woman is the bloodsucking lawyer you always knew was out there.

Check out her hand on Jessica’s leg throughout the Today Show interview this morning:

To bring you up to date: Lowe wrote an article about the $1 million dollar lawsuit against Laura Boyce, who he claimed violated a confidentiality agreement. Since then, this empty-eyed former employee, Jessica Gibson, has come forth with a sexual harassment claim.

Cashing in on the news much?

There’s more we have to say about this, but we’ll keep it off the front page. “Read More…” to hear why no one is coming out clean on this one and some details of Gibson’s alleged harassment.

Sounds like Hayden has been getting our letters and decided to speak out and make this PSA against sexual harassment.

It’s the representation shuffle (much less fun than the Super Bowl Shuffle)!

Just think of it as musical chairs, that will help.

While the music was playing, talent agency Endeavor stole Nick Stevens, Sharon Sheinwold and Lisa Hallerman (we don’t know these names either, but they’re big) from United Talent Agency after the last round of musical chairs saw Chris Rock jump the Endeavor ship over to ICM.

But the joke was on Endeavor, who suffered a That 70’s Show switch. When the music stopped a second time, Ashton Kutcher was gone after 10 years of circling En’s chairs. Topher Grace took an En seat after leaving William Morris.

The big news today is that Kutcher headed over to Creative Arts Agency, who hopefully have killed that bird by now, lest their assistants cry fowl-play (you can whip us for that pun later).

Why the huge shuffle for these three stars? Because they are all sucking it up on the movie front.

Kutcher’s most recent, the animated Open Season in 2006 just barely broke even on their $85 million budget. Just barely like $100,000 barely.

Rock’s forays into film hasn’t been much better. His directorial debut I Think I Love My Wife grossed $12.5 mil on a $11 mil budget, nothing compared to what his stand-up and HBO specials bring in, and his character in Bee Movie didn’t help the film get back into the black.

Grace might be the only one of the three who can even pretend that his transition into film has been semi-successful. Spider-Man 3 brought in the bank, though it’s been too long since we’ve seen the Topher Grace we love on screen. If you don’t count the Oceans 12 cameo (too brief, if you ask us), the last thing that showed the potential to turn Grace into a bona-fide star was Traffic in 2000.

All three of these moves come after long-standing rumors that these three actors were pissed with their previous reps’ inability to land them something good.

The rumblings were so loud, you can bet Endeavor feels like they’ve been punk’d after dropping major bank on some relief reps only to have Kutcher and Rock jump ship.

The only thing that’s going to make that sting less is if What Happens In Vegas…, Kutcher’s new Cameron Diaz rom com somehow outgrosses Titanic.

If that was all Greek to you, we’re writing about Paris Hilton being “in love” later today. Smiley face emoticon.

Um. We’re not quite sure why pictures of Woody Harrelson climbing while naked are making their way around the internet.

Apparently, Owen Wilson and himself have been skinny-dipping together, which is totally acceptable, we’re just wondering why these shots have been rotating around the news wire.

Also, thank you Daily Mail for this glimpse into Harrelson’s life:

After enjoying a dip in Miami Bay, Harrelson climbed out of the Atlantic for a naked work-out on his private dock.

We’re pretty sure we’ll never be rich enough to be naked on a private anything. Even the kids who live in the apartment across the street have been caught staring in the windows of our homes, one staff member had a Craigslist ad posted about his flagrant home nudity.

Either way, pictures of Woody’s butt seemed like something we should mention in passing, because the world of celebrity gossip rarely turns to male nudity.

Not that we’re suggesting some sort of male-celeb reverse Title IX or anything.

The uncensored version after the jump, just in case any ladies and/or Woody fanboys are reading.

Two unrelated stories follow, but the thread, the through-line, the crux of these tow items placed side by side is that they both involve weed.

Which we are all in favor of. Drink responsibly, smoke responsibly; that’s what we think.

Tom Cruise’s people don’t seem to have the same ideology, according the NY Daily News:

Tom Cruise isn’t getting any giggles from a new strain of medical marijuana being marketed as “Tom Cruise Purple.”

Word is that the actor’s lawyers are taking a serious look at the strong brand of bud after we brought it to their attention.

One of Cruise’s friends found it “outrageous” that licensed cannabis clubs in Northern California are selling vials of pot featuring a picture of Cruise laughing hysterically.

That is awesome in so many different ways, we want to print that story out and tack it to the cubicle wall.

On the other side of the ganja divide, arguable one of the world’s most famous pot-heads, Snoop Dogg is publically calling Obama out for accepting money…from the KKK?

From Contact Music:

Hip-hop star SNOOP DOGG has launched a scathing attack on U.S. presidential hopeful BARACK OBAMA - accusing him of gleaning support from a race hate group.

The rapper, real name Calvin Broadus Jr., insists the Democratic candidate has received funding from historically anti-black organisation the Ku Klux Klan (KKK).

He says, “The KKK gave Obama money. They was (sic) one of his biggest supporters… Why wouldn’t they be? The media won’t tell you that. They don’t want you to know that. They just want you to know that this n**ger befriended this other n**ger who be (sic) threatening your values. “But we all know all presidents lie to get into f**king office. That’s they (sic) job.”

It’s hard to see on the official KKK site (long story about how we know where to find official KKK stuff) because it is so poorly designed, but on the front page is a headline that reads: THE KKK DOES NOT ENDORSE BARACK OBAMA.

It seems to me like someone has Snoop Dogg’s ear in private.

At least we already know it’s not DMX.