Scarlett Johansson is currently training, slimming, and squeezing into whatever costume Jon Favereau has cooked up for the Iron Man II version of the Black Widow, and she’s blogging about body image issues over at The Huffington Post…

Surely they mean that she NEEDS and ACTUAL bodyguard right? No?

Luckily, this source is a bit fishy…

Hey, guys! Remember Anna Nicole Smith and her horrible death of horribleness that might have had more to do with who got her son, who killed her other son and who inherited her millions she herself inherited from an old guy who wanted to boink a hot ditz for a few years? I think she had a reality show I didn’t watch as well.

Put on your 2007 hats, because Howard Stern and two doctors, Sandeep Kapoor and Khristine Eroshevich, have been handed down felony charges for the prescription drugs (including sweet opiates and sedatives) they illegally gave to Smith in the years leading up to her death…

Seriously, how long did we think we could get away with it?

Yes, I’m ready to call it: Chris Brown is a horrible person who deserves to go to jail or get the shit kicked out of him.

Luckily, one or the other is bound to happen.

Here’s the thing that made me decide that Brown was past objectivity, it’s the summery of an LAPD Dectective’s notes on the initial attack on Rihanna from TMZ:

According to the notes, Rihanna read a three-page text message on Brown’s phone from a woman. An argument ensued and Brown allegedly tried forcing Rihanna out of the car but couldn’t because she was wearing her seat belt.Brown then allegedly shoved Rihanna’s head against the passenger window. When Rihanna turned to face him, Brown punched her, then continued punching her while driving, according to the detective’s notes. Blood spattered all over Rihanna’s clothing and in the interior of the car. Her mouth was filled with blood. Brown allegedly told Rihanna, “I’m going to beat the **** out of you when we get home. You wait and see.” Rihanna called her assistant and left a message saying, “I am on my way home. Make sure the cops are there when I get there.” Brown then replied, “You just did the stupidest thing ever. I’m going to kill you.” According to the report, Brown continued to punch Rihanna, bit her on her ear, her fingers and put her in a headlock — she almost lost consciousness.

And even though this kind of unforgivable shit is happening to women the world wide, this dude is famous and beat up his famous girlfriend, so some very real consequences are coming down the line:

The L.A. County District Attorney has just charged Chris Brown with felony assault and making a criminal threat, also a felony. The charging documents name “Robyn F.” as the alleged victim. Brown will be arraigned today at 3:30 PM in downtown LA. A spokesperson for the D.A. tells TMZ he could face a maximum of four years and eight months in prison.

At this point, the dude better hope he gets convicted, or Jay-Z will most certainly have him killed.

WTF? asks occasional B&U blogger John Lichman upon the news that Mad Max might be returning to a theater near you.

Mad Max 4 was in the cards earlier this decade, complete with script, as a live action film. Sadly, the funding fell through as soon as we decided to bring democracy to Iraq (no joke, no politics, that’s really why funding died). Now George Miller, the writer/director behind Mad Max, Road Warrior and Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome is ready to gear up MM4 as an animated stereoscopic feature.

He just has one catch: No Mel Gibson…

This month, Glamour Magazine features some female “icons” as recreated in photoshoots by current starlets of the day, and - boy - are some of these things damn weird.

For example, Hayden Panettiere as Amelia Earhart in a year where we will see not one but TWO Earharts on film, one being Amy Adams in Night At The Museum 2 and the other being an eyebrow-less Hilary Swank in the biopic Amelia.

It’s never too early to start making an icon out of Michelle Obama, who was doing great things in Chicago, I’m sure, but considering the celebrity enacting her is Alicia Keys it seems a little weird. Since, you know, I knew who Keys was long before I knew who the Obamas were.

Speaking of should-they or shouldn’t-they be included, who decided that Carrie Bradshaw was suddenly an icon, let alone a positive role model for women? Granted, i haven’t seen the complete Sex In The City, but every time I do get caught in an episode, one of the lead characters ends up complaining about something that seems far beyond trivial when I’m sitting on my futon eating ramen, ’cause that’s all I can afford. Not to mention that 20-year old Emma Stone will never have the Sarah Jessica Parker horse-face.

Also: Lindsay Lohan as Madonna? I know Hayden Panettiere isn’t out flying planes and Alicia Keys isn’t going to put a ring on a politician’s finger, but I thought everyone knew that Britney Spears is/was/will be the New Madonna for all time. Was she unavailable? Was Lohan just so hard up for work that they included her?

More starlets impersonating more icons HERE, including Odette Yustman, America Ferrera, Camilla Belle, Emma Roberts, Elisa Cuthbert and more.