Hey, guys! Remember Anna Nicole Smith and her horrible death of horribleness that might have had more to do with who got her son, who killed her other son and who inherited her millions she herself inherited from an old guy who wanted to boink a hot ditz for a few years? I think she had a reality show I didn’t watch as well.

Put on your 2007 hats, because Howard Stern and two doctors, Sandeep Kapoor and Khristine Eroshevich, have been handed down felony charges for the prescription drugs (including sweet opiates and sedatives) they illegally gave to Smith in the years leading up to her death…

Ladies and gentleman, Tara Reid She went from American Pie hottie to stupid-looking party girl with bad boob-jobs and liposuction pretty damn quick. She was saved from living through a Britney-like spiral because she had no real talent in the first place, and if we want to watch someone skank-n-spiral out, we’re sure we have some distant relatives somewhere who will be happy enough to oblige.

That’s what made us not take any notice last Friday when Us Weekly received a statement from Reid’s representation (can you imagine telling your friends at parties that you work for Tara Reid of Taradise fame?): “Tara Reid has checked herself into Promises Treatment Center. We appreciate your respect to her and her family’s privacy at this time.”

How much privacy you ask? Well, not enough privacy that we didn’t get these pictures of her partying at Rok Bar in South Miami Beach. These were sent to us as pictures of Tara Reid’s birthday party, and dated December 15th - yesterday.

And we haaaaaaate to bring this up, but Tara Reid’s birthday is actually November 8, 1975, which means this birthday party is over a month late, or someone is trying to spread the rumor that Reid is out of rehab.

Despite our Tara Reid fact-checking abilities, we’re apt to believe that Reid is NOT in rehab anymore.

Click images to see the full-sized drunk.

Hello, Kristen Stewart, star of Twilight, the national vampire romance sensation. What’s that you have in your hand? Is it a marijuana pipe? Have you loaded illegal smoking substances into that pipe?

Did you need to be high to stand Twilight, like us?

Not the best time for these pictures to break, we suppose, but maybe she has a perfectly legal medical condition.

Say what you will about the good old excuse of “exhaustion” for stars, it still works and people will still believe it, like people who are rich and famous somehow don’t know how to manage their time any better than we do. If I were to start acting crazy and collapse, then phone into my place of work from the police department claiming “exhaustion,” I’m pretty sure I’d be replaced right quick.

But I wasn’t in Reservoir Dogs, so maybe I don’t deserve to be cut any slack…

M-K Olsen, it seems, is under a little bit of suspicion. The Feds want to talk to the tiny actress about the untimely death of Heath Ledger who was reportedly staying in a Broome Street apartment owned by Olsen when he died.

From the New York Post:

Pint-size actress Mary-Kate Olsen has refused to be interviewed by federal investigators probing the accidental drug death of her close friend Heath Ledger unless she receives immunity from prosecution, The Post has learned.

The actress’ lawyer has repeatedly rebuffed attempts by the feds to question Olsen, who was the first person called after her masseuse discovered Ledger’s body in his SoHo apartment in January.

Frustrated federal officials could obtain a grand-jury subpoena to compel the funky “Full House” actress to tell them whatever she knows about the “Dark Knight” star’s behavior, his possible drug use and the events of that fateful morning, according to sources.

Probers have interviewed everyone connected to Ledger and his death, including his doctors, the masseuse, bodyguards, housekeepers, business associates and even the mother of his 2-year-old daughter, Matilda, his “Brokeback Mountain” co-star Michelle Williams.

“Ms. Williams was extremely nice and cooperative,” a source said.

Another added, “Everyone has been very eager to help, saying what a great guy Heath Ledger was, everyone except Mary-Kate, who has refused to speak.”

Get the full story after the jump.

Come on, Page Six. Where are your teeth on this one?

What used to be the most feared print-gossip column in the US posted an item today with a MAJOR issue and several minor ones:

JOVIAL actor Seth Rogan found out the hard way that just because it’s your premiere, doesn’t mean you can do anything you want. Rogan was at the Maxim party for his new flick, “Pineapple Express,” on the rooftop of the Solamar Hotel in San Diego where, spies said, he was smoking a funny-smelling hand-rolled cigarette. One onlooker said, “He was told to put it out immediately or leave.” A rep for Rogan - who told Elle this month, “I have a terrible case of I-wanna- smoke-weed- all-day” - declined to comment.

Here’s why this is complete bullshit:

1) It’s spelled Seth Rogen, you jackasses. He’s like, Judd Apatow’s number one cash baby, you might as well learn to spell his name.

2) It’s a MAXIM party for PINEAPPLE EXPRESS. Read: the most popular men’s magazine for stoners and frat boys throws a party sponsored by Patron for a movie titled after a special brand of weed. Yeah, sounds like no one is going to be smoking there. On the roof, no less, where no one gives a shit.

3) I’m sure he has a medical license for that pot. A good 80% of the people we know under the age of 30 in Cali have a medical license. Not to mention holding up the Apatow mantle is enough to give anyone anxiety.

4) It’s Seth Rogan, the dude MTV gave a fake bag of weed to display at this years MTV Movie Awards. Even if he didn’t want to smoke at a party for his pot movie, it’s probably in his contract or something: light up, you bastard, put some stoner butts in the seats. You don’t kick the guest of honor out of a party, unless he kills someone in front of 50 witnesses, screaming: “This act of murder was totally pre-meditated!”

Come on, Page Six, up your game.

This weekend, Amy Winehouse collapsed and was hospitalized, which we neglected to tell you because it was Comic Con Weekend and because Amy Winehouse goes to the hospital like twice a month. She was hospitalized, kept overnight for observation, the quietly released through the back entrance and allowed to return to her Camden home.

No one is really sure what caused the collapse. A hospital employee said something about “medication” and there is a rumor that Amy’s dad Mitch thinks her drink was spiked with ecstacy.

What we do know is that Amy got a blood delivery this morning.

Who knows if this is related or not, it’s just really weird and minorly disconcerting.

Our new theory is that Amy collapsed because her body was dying and the only way the UK could keep their most-popular junkie alive was to turn her into a vampire.