Rapper T.I. has been sentenced to a year in jail. Considering he was facing up to 10 years and $250,000 per count, I’d imagine the dude is sitting pretty with a guilty plea and a year and a day…

Surely they mean that she NEEDS and ACTUAL bodyguard right? No?

Luckily, this source is a bit fishy…

Michael Jackson is so broke, he needs to start playing concerts again, so he unveiled the This Is It Tour (as opposed to the Really, This Is It Tour? Or the Probably It Tour?) with a massive amount of dates and up to 1,000,000 tickets available through 2010.

If you’re ready to go to London, that is. Tickets have been selling like hotcakes, but for those children of the 80s who grew up on Jackson (me!), but haven’t managed to become Hedge Fund managers, I’m suggesting something. Will someone please define “tour” for Michael Jackson?

TOUR. As in TRAVEL. As in, some of us can’t haul our asses to London’s O2 Arena just to pay tribute to you by giving you our hard-earned recession dollars.

Dammit.

More on Jackson’s 50 O2 gigs HERE.

Christian Bale’s tirade against the DP of Terminator Salvation has hijacked a slow news week and spread like wildfire through the internet (insert more viral cliches here). Not only have things like the Christian Bale soundboard popped up, but the outburst has birthed a “I drink your milkshake”-equal catchphrase:

The LA-based electro-pop group Mae Shi managed to see that this Bale thing was going to be bigger than anyone thought and pushed out a Bale tribute track, “RU Professional” that is winning the Christian Bale remix contest. That addictive track and where to download it under the cut…

Joaquin Phoenix has shed his acting persona and continues to go around to places, rapping. Maybe that’s why he has one of the top viral videos on the internet right now, with a video featuring one of his raps. You can’t really tell what he’s saying, but you can tell that it’s underwhelming for everyone there.

This is either going to turn out being a joke the whole time or one of the greatest sudden burn-outs in celebrity history.

Let’s hope for the latter and prepare for the former.

Oh, yeah, did I mention he also falls off the stage?

Vids under the cut…

Wes Craven is revisiting his directorial debut, and we’re not exactly sure when it comes out (April? It hasn’t been announced), but the trailer for Last House On The Left has one thing going for it: A “Sweet Child O’ Mine” cover by Taken by Trees that kicks in right as the film pitches it’s revenge premise. We had zero interest in this film before the trailer, now, we’re intrigued…

Surfing around the Wednesday web is like reaching into the bargain bin at any given consignment store. Things pop up that you didn’t really need to know about, but nonetheless, it catches your eye.

Today’s random find: apparently a DJ named DJ Minty Fresh Beats has mashed up instrumentals from Radiohead’s Kid A, OK Computer and In Rainbows with Jay-Z tracks, which was done well by Girl Talk, the mash-up artist, but needed to be expanded into a full album according to Minty Fresh Beats.

I mean, hats off to anyone that wanted to take the time to mash up Jay-Z acapellas with Radiohead, but hasn’t this whole thing passed us by at least 3 or 4 times already?

If you are as curious as I was, you can download the whole thing at Jaydiohead.com.