This is the official statement from Liv’s publicist:

“Liv Tyler and Royston Langdon have confirmed their separation. They remain good friends and devoted parents to their son Milo and are requesting that their family’s privacy be respected at this time.”

30-year old Liv married 36-year old Royston in 2003 and had their only child, Milo in December 2004.

Bonus points if you can name what band Royston is famous for being in. The answer, in music video form, after the cut!

There are two videos currently at our disposal that pretty much sum up all the possible angles that this Nick Cannon/Mariah Carey marriage can possibly be covered.

CNN says this is a huge publicity stunt, and that Nick Cannon is benefiting more from the press.

Oprah, on the other hand, couldn’t be more in favor; sharing People’s Wedding photos and talking about how she “should have known” when Mariah was on her show recently.

Watch the two videos after the jump and save us a whole bunch of summation of the various spins this marriage is getting.

For those of you that were still hoping that Mariah’s quickie marriage to (of all people) Drumline star Nick Cannon might have been the latest April Fool’s Day Joke ever, consider your hopes dashed by People magazine.

This week, People will publish the wedding photos, forever locking the marriage into what will soon be known as “Mariah’s honeymoon period,” before the media starts ripping a their marriage with the claws of 1,000 bloggers.

We were quick to rejoice over Lindsay Lohan’s decision to actually work instead of sitting around partying all the time and making money off of conspicuously holding anti-smoking aides in front of the paparazzi.

Maybe we shouldn’t have been so fast to commend her for working, because a bit of her new song “Bossy,” rumored to be the first single of her upcoming third album is…well…

Until we get below the cut, let’s just say “lackluster.”

It was reported a while back that Amy Winehouse was all lined up to record the theme song for the new James Bond film, The Quantum of Solace.

Thing is, she’s “not ready to work” and now that honor has been stripped from her.

Was it the drugs? It was the drugs wasn’t it?

Details inside.

We used our “Jay-Z just added his 100th problem after years of courtship” joke until it started to wear a little bit about the edges, then we thought the book was closed on this hip-hop royalty wedding.

Sadly, the book is never closed on an unexpected wedding. At least not until 9 months after the nuptials.

Thank you Hollyscoop for throwing your hat into the ring and suggesting the rumor that always comes about with sudden weddings.

Hollyscoop has learned exclusively through multiple sources that Beyonce is expecting. A source close to the couple revealed, “Beyonce is 100% pregnant, which is why the couple rushed their wedding.” The source also told Hollyscoop that all the friends and family that attended the ultra private wedding were all aware that Beyonce was already expecting.

Our source added that Beyonce is in her early stages, but don’t expect this star to come out with a confirmation statement anytime soon. The couple is pretty private about their personal lives–they still haven’t even confirmed their wedding. But the source confirmed that she is expecting and they rushed the wedding due to Beyonce’s strong Christian beliefs.

We love that according to strict “Christian beliefs,” it’s forgivable to screw like rabbits out of wedlock, but completely unacceptable to have a child out of wedlock. It kind of seems like you don’t have to repent until you get caught, and if that applies, we have absolutely nothing to repent for, Jesus.

This rumor also exists with Mariah Carey because of her rushed ceremony, but we’ll wait until someone slaps “Exclusive” on the front of a “Mariah Pregnant” headline.

Maybe we could do that. We can hear the ad-clicking dollars now…

Considering we just found out about this late yesterday, wrote about it today and wasn’t sure if the story was true at all, we think that Latina might be jumping the gun on this one.

All anyone is saying is “yesterday,” “impulsive” and “on an island.”

More if this is true. If you never hear this report again, assume false.

UPDATE: The New York Post has hopped on the “they are already married” train as well, adding a kicker of a caboose: no pre-nup. Score, Cannon, score!

27 to 38 isn’t that big of a gap, but…NICK CANNON?

From Access Hollywood:

A source close to Mariah has confirmed to Access Hollywood that the music diva is engaged to Nick Cannon.

Reps for both singers were unavailable for comment.

The couple sent the rumor mill into overdrive when 38-year-old Mariah (with Nick on her arm) was seen sporting a dazzling new piece of bling on her ring finger at the after party for her Tribeca film, “Tennessee,” in New York.

When asked at the party what he loved about Mariah, 27-year-old Nick gave a one-word answer.
“Everything,” he told People.

Though Mariah has been through the marriage thing before, Nick hasn’t. He has been engaged once, to Victora’s Secret model Selita Ebanks, last year. That was called off before the “I do.”

This just seems out of left field, but whatever. Mariah in Drumline 2! Let’s start a petition!

Our following of the Scarlett Johansson album has toned down when it became apparent that everyone was much more interested in the Scarlett pics we put up accompanying each story.

Well, let’s merge the two. Here’s the video for “Falling Down” featuring David Bowie on backup vocals (not in the video).

Either way, it’s a weird song that is going to leave people mixed, so we’ll just let you think what you wanna think while you watch this “day in the life” of Scarlett.

As bizarre as it sounds, the rumored “Jimi Hendrix Sex Tape” is going to be released by Vivid Entertainment, a large name in Adult DVDs.

According to the New York Times:

The film shows a naked man who resembles Hendrix, the guitar legend who died in 1970, wearing a bandanna in his Afro, having sex with two brunettes in a dimly lighted bedroom. His full face appears on screen for only a few seconds, with his eyes closed. In other portions there are flashes of his profile. But his hands, bedecked with rings, roam large on the screen at times. The film has no audio.

Of course, the true identity of the man in the video is disputed by experts.

The video came to Vivid through Howie Klien, a collector who came across a film canister labeled: “Black Man” in a box of rock memorabilia (these are the facts folks, don’t ask us where this magical box of rock memorabilia is). After viewing the film, he passed it onto Vivid who had a larger distribution plan. Vivid is ready to stand behind their 45-minute DVD which includes the sex scene cobbled together with a Hendrix-retrospective (that doesn’t include any actual Hendrix music).

Hendrix Historians (who either really exist, or have deem themselves historians for the purpose of getting ink), have said that the facial bone structure is similar, but none of the rings the “Black Man” is wearing in the video match any rings from whatever time period they have access to.

Vivid, on the other hand, is much more credible in the pornography world for selling exclusive product. Steven Hirsch founded Vivid and released his first video in 1984. It was called “Ginger” and starred Ginger Lynn. Lynn was signed to an exclusive contract with Vivid. The motivation behind this was completely market driven. If you, as a pornography fan, really liked Ginger, then you’d have to succumb to Vivid Entertainment. Hirsch based his idea loosely around the old studio system, when studios would have contracts with certain bankable stars. This way you came back for the stars and the style, Hirsch wants you to trust Vivid like your parents (or grandparents) trusted Warner Brothers or Universal. This is a double-edged sword, because porn is a fickle business and what is in one day is out the other. Finally, this cliché fits all to well: Different strokes for different folks.

“Dave, you know so much about porn!,” you must be saying.

Yes. We tend to know a lot about any industry where two or more people try to fuck each other. Porn is literal, the entertainment industry is metaphorical.

This video from Ali Dee and the Deekompressors is a re-imaginging of the Speed Racer theme song that is 30% tolerable and 70% near-painful. It’s right up there with Fergie’s Sex in the City theme.

You should probably watch it though, because it’s made up of footage from the film, lots of it we haven’t seen before. Speed cold-cocks a guy with a gun, the hyper-colored world gets more establishing shots and the classic Speed Racer pose ends the video.We only can’t stand it because it’s a horrible video to start the morning with Monday. Here we are not even happy to be conscious, yet we got to stare at flashing colors with nonsense rapped over it.Those lyrics are mostly about being fast, in case you tuned them out.

Watch the music: here.

Mariah Carey’s new album E=MC^2, which is probably going to make her the single artist with the most #1 hits ever, is pushing her album with all she’s got.

Seriously, everything. This weekend, for instance, the Empire State Building will be lit up pink, lavender, and white in the evening to promote E=MC^2.

Mariah Carey is advertising on the most iconic New York building. We are in hell, people.

If that isn’t enough, not even a major fuckup of Ashlee Simpson-sized proportions today on Good Morning America isn’t going to stop her.

Mariah had some problems with her “backing track” that came in too early. She tried to cover it up by improving some banter. Things start to go better until around 3:05 when the “backing track” kicks back in and Mariah has to yell at her backup singer to “stop singing my part.”

Ugh.

We’re feeling pretty good today. Who knows why. Maybe day after day of little to nothing happening has finally made us snap and remember that things rarely happen in huge bursts; Britney’s fine now, we don’t need to give you minute-to-minute updates, the continued Union Bitchfighting doesn’t yet involve a strike, so no big news there.

However, our Hollywood 2.0 category could use some beefing up, especially with the cool shit that is going around the ‘net.

Here are some stories that foreshadow how entertainment is changing along with technology:

South Park’s Internet Symbiosis – The LA Times blog talked to South Park co-creator Matt Stione about how South Park “grew up” with the internet and how distribution is changing. The article includes three audio clips from Stone who continues to prove that the South Park guys know exactly what they are doing, it may not be viable, but at least they have a plan:

When I asked co-creator Matt Stone about having a show that bridged the gap from the pre-Internet era to now, he knew what to say.
“We kind of did that on purpose.”
Which is a good joke, but the thing is, there’s some truth to it. From the beginning, Stone and co-creator Trey Parker have been medium-agnostic — always saying they didn’t give a fuss if the show played on a TV, a computer or a plastic Happy Meal wristwatch as long as fans were watching it. Back in 1997, that may have sounded anathema to Comedy Central and parent Viacom Inc., but now it looks like master augury, as the line between TV and the Internet becomes ever less distinct.

NIN Releases “Discipline” - We’ve been trying to trumpet the ongoing Radiohead V. Nine Inch Nails internet spat to everyone in “real journalism” that would listen. Our conversation with a SPIN editor went nowhere, but that was before Radiohead released the re-mixable stems for “Nude” on iTunes, semi-shamelessly aping remix.nin.com, which has been giving away free stems from Trent for months already. When NIN and Radiohead were announced as co-headliners of Lollapalooza, some internet outlets started to pick up on the fact that Radiohead and Nine Inch Nails, the two biggest internet-release bands currently in existence, have been mirroring each other’s distribution methods.

The next shot was fired two days ago when a new Nine Inch Nails song called “Discipline” started getting radio-play to the excitement of online Nine Inch Nails fans. Turns out, the song was mastered and within 24 hours was on the radio. Within hours of its radio-debut, the track was up on NIN.com for free download. When downloaded, the notes in the MP3 said: “Check NIN on May 5th,” leading to speculation that Reznor is going to release his second NIN album in three months.

Your turn, Radiohead.

EMI Wants Music Kept Offline – Also in the music distribution biz, EMI is suing MP3tunes, a “music locker” site that allows you to upload your music, then access it from any browser. EMI suggests that this is illegal because it allows file-trading.

MP3tunes has alerted it’s users via e-mail as to why this is stupid:

Files are not MP3tunes’ possessions any more than the contents of a safety deposit box are owned by the bank that houses them. The storage provided by MP3tunes is the user’s own space. A Locker is empty when someone opens an account and that customer decides what files are placed into their Locker. All files are stored at the request of the user. People who choose to utilize remote storage should be guaranteed the same level of privacy they have for the files stored on their local hard disk… if you don’t have the right to store your own music online then you won’t have the right to store ebooks, videos and other digital products as well. The notion of ownership in the 21st century will evaporate. The idea of ownership is important to me and I want to make sure I have that right and my kids do too.

Other happenings in the loop with Hulu, et al, but nothing substantial. Just thought these points would be fun stuff to chew on for those of you ready to exploit all this new media bullshit.

Or, you know, you could take up theater again.

We know there is video overload on the main page today, but if you know about the “gossip cycle” that reaches a dead stand-still on most Wednesdays, you’ll sympathize with us for surfing videos rather than reading about Star Jones’ divorce.

That’s right, she got divorced and it’s stupid that people care, but that’s Wednesday for you!

In actual movie rumor/gossip news, Fergie released her new song called “Labels or Love.” This is something we usually wouldn’t give two farts about, but LoL is also the theme song to the Sex and the City movie, and includes parts of the show’s theme in the sample.

For the sake of loading, listen to the song after the jump!