Remember when we brought up that people have started calling Jessica Simpson fat on gossip blogs (maybe some that I work for…ahem, moving on)? Well, it looks like we might have broken her.

I mean, we all knew she was probably fragile. We certainly knew, thanks to Chicken Of The Sea, that she was kind of dumb, so we - the internet - probably should have stepped it back a bit.

(Which we did, we just needed Christian Bale to be done with us professionally).

Last night’s Jessica Simpson concert in Michigan seems to have gone poorly for the singer…

It doesn’t make the most sense, but this is totally what people care about over other, more important things that are happening this week. I mean, who wants to care about the economy or an impeached governor of Illinois when you can debate with your friends over the definition of celebrity “fat?”

I certainly don’t want to think about anything else.

Here’s the not-so-skinny: Jessica Simpson made a really bad decision to wear some high-waist pants and a tight top which shows that maybe she’s been in a romantic relationship with some meat and cheesecake. The woman isn’t obese, but compared to what we all came to expect from this ditzy blonde, body image-wise, it’s quite the change.

And, you know, no one wants to think about anything actually concerning, so I’m fine if my side conversations over the weekend involve speculating about Jessica Simpson’s weight.

You guys remember Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz. She’s the younger sister of Jessica Simpson who somehow managed to eclipse her older sister by only appearing half-retarded on her reality series “Autobiography” while Jessica went the full-retard on her wedding reality show.

God, reminiscing is putting us to sleep.

He’s in Fallout Boy and managed to knock up the younger Simpson, who stayed pregnant for what felt like forever.

But, she is bloated with child no longer…

Jessica Simpson is gone, people. Daisy Duke? Gone. Pop singer? Gone. Reality star? Gone. All we’ve got left is this girl, kind-of branded as a idiot and a slut across national media, who is trying to jump-start her country career to little or no fanfare and has now become the celebrity spokeswoman for Stampede Brewing Company’s new light beer, Stampede Light Plus.

We think it has vitamins in it, meaning that the unavoidable push to put vitamins into everything has finally affected our casual drinking.

What’s even better than Jessica Simpson looking like a slightly-high Tennessee prostitute? The copy:

“Be smart, drink smart. I work out and take care of myself. But I also like a cold beer once in a while. That’s why I made the smart choice with a smart beer. Stampede light, it’s beer plus.”

Because if you want “smart” you want this girl:

Looks like the sudden-increase in shutterbugs due to America’s obsession with celebrity culture has finally crossed a line in the eyes of California lawmakers, who plan to meet to discuss new ordinances to keep everyone safe and avoid a mass-exodus of entertainers from the LA area.

AP reports:

Officials from celeb enclaves in and around Los Angeles such as Beverly Hills, West Hollywood, Malibu and Calabasas are convening Thursday for the first time to discuss ways to combat shutterbugs, whose tactics have grown more aggressive and confrontational in the past few years.

Their goal is for each city to adopt its own ordinances to punish aggressive paparazzi, while keeping the rules uniform in the places where celebrities live, work and play.

“This is a response to their lack of responsible behavior,” said Los Angeles City Councilman Dennis Zine, an outspoken paparazzi critic and organizer of the task force.

Zine proposed a “personal safety zone” around celebs earlier this year that police officials said would be virtually unenforceable. He’s also floated the idea of legitimizing the paparazzi - who are freelancers by definition - by giving them credentials, and in turn, clear rules.

This meeting comes after Halle Berry announced she was pursuing criminal charges against photogs who snuck into her backyard to get shots of her with her 4-month-old. Also, the bodyguards protecting Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s twins-from-heaven got in a tussle with some paps dressed in full on camouflage.

A fight broke out between X17 paps and surfers in June that could have lead to arrests, except neither group has submitted unedited footage to police that could result in punishment.

Some pap groups, like JFX Direct are in support of licensing photographers and issuing them guidelines, so if altercations occur and laws are broken, the cops can sort out the “professionals” from the hacks trying to score big on one shot.

The B&U always tries to obtain shots from legit organizations, because the last thing we need is Britney, Lindsay or Miley getting caught in a Princess Diana situation.

You can read more about the summit HERE.

Jessica Simpson played her first country show at Country Thunder and was booed. Big surprise there.

Before leaving the stage, she told the audience: “I don’t know what your perception is of Jessica Simpson or what tabloid you buy, but I just want you to know that I’m just a girl from Texas; I’m just like you. I’m doing what I love and dating a boy. I won’t be recording another pop album.”

You know what our perception of Jessica Simpson is? Those shorts. And other clothing items she wears to draw attention away from her career and personality.

She can keep playing shows as long as we get the pictures a few days afterward.

How do you think Jessica Simpson took this news? After spending a few minutes yesterday writing about her craptacular and cyclically bad career, and amid rumors that her ex Tony Romo might have skipped out because of engagement pressure, it’s easy to see how this sort of announcement could be devastating to a blonde that, by all accounts, isn’t that smart.

First, Ashlee gets a reality TV series when Jessica’s Newlyweds was breaking apart Jessica’s marriage. Then, the TV show rocketed Ashlee’s debut album to the top of the charts (All writers get bonuses for using any iteration of the phrase: “rocketing to the top of the charts”), and since then Ashlee has been out-selling, out-touring and out-dating her older sister. She even bought herself a new nose with the profits.

You could imagine the wail of a broken soul emanating from Jessica’s now-country-singing mouth when she heard the news…