Granted, I was sold when I heard that Moon was the story of an astronaut played by Sam Rockwell, going slowly crazy (maybe) on the moon. What else do you need to hear? Rockwell even made Charlie’s Angels interesting, and that movie was not at all about character…or plot…or anything besides women being hot and appearing to kick ass in a world where physics didn’t apply.

However, with the above SWEET poster (click it to see the full thing at AICN) and the trailer (inside the cut) hitting me over the head with atmospheric awesomeness, I now know that I will be seeing Moon when it hit limited release June 12th.

What the hell is this floating head crap? After all the good posters we’ve seen from Terminator Salvation, Kinopoisk has debuted this photoshopped piece of crap that’s - of all things - pimping Sam Worthington with one of the worst promo photos of the man I think I’ve ever seen.

Suck. Just suck all over the place.

McG’s Terminator film opens May 21st and stars Christian Bale, Sam Worthington, Anton Yelchin, Bryce Dallas Howard, Moon Bloodgood and Common.

UPDATE: The trailer is now up at i09. CLICK HERE!

I’m actually surprised I haven’t written about Hunter Prey before because it’s the sort of project that is right up my film geek alley…

I’m not going to blame any of you, my sweet few readers who have been nothing but nice to me, but I can’t - for the life of me - figure out why this sentence exists in the Variety reports about this weekend’s releases: Judging by the strength of the tracking, “Fast and Furious” has a shot at securing the biggest opening of all time for April.

I understand the pure numbers that has Fast & Furious opening in 3,462 theaters as opposed to Adventureland’s 1,862. I also know that the previous Fast & Furious films have performed admirably ($40.1 million, $50.3 million and $24 million respectively) and that Adventureland is being touted as a Superbad-like coming of age story, which it isn’t.

Guys, I’m convinced this weekend is up to you. If Fast & Furious made the right choice by moving their 4th film back into April instead of opening in a crowded June like they usually do, then they are just going to bring in us stupid guys who want to see cool cars and girls in hot pants. Now, Fast & Furious undoubtedly has both of these things. If that’s what you want in your film, then you can go see it with a clean conscience (after THIS rant, I need to give everyone a “dumb summer movie” out). However, the plot is crappy and the acting is wooden.

As opposed to Adventureland, which I had enough to say about to fill out a whole damn REVIEW . A whole review is saying something, considering I’ve only reviewed Brothers Bloom and The Dark Knight for this site. I know Brothers Bloom hasn’t even come out yet, but when it does, I think you’ll see the kind of movie that motivates me to write a longer piece about it, and it’s usually when the film has something bigger to tell us as a full work.

As opposed to Fast & Furious, which took me all of 100 words.

But still, Universal thinks Furious might open big…

Tuesday, May 27th, 2007:

“Oh, yeah, no. The next movie I’m doing is my WWII movie Inglorious Bastards. I actually just finished the first draft of the script and when I go home I’ll be finishing it up…and if all goes well [pregnant pause] I will be here 2009 at Cannes with my war film INGLORIOUS BASTARDS!!! [applause].”

Ok, let’s settle down there QT. How long have we heard that Inglorious Bastards is coming? 5 years now? It was supposed to follow up Kill Bill, and there were rumors that it was going to be epic in scope. Both of these facts suggest that you may be creating a little bit too much hype over a script you just finished…

And guess who is going to be eating those words come this May (hint: rhymes with “cave”)…

Sorry to slam you with more Star Trek news, but the above image of Diora Baird as an Orion Slave Girl in the new JJ Abrams Star Trek has leaked via MTV and some Star Trek trading cards.

Considering I did a whole post about the Orion Slave Girls and managed to photoshop a topless pic of Diora Baird into a glowing emerald approximation of what I WANTED her to look like, this frumpy-looking sickly green image above is really turning me off. Let’s hope she’s more of a side character.

Sylvester Stallone is producing a vehicle for himself called The Expendables that - thus far - has promised to be an old school, back-to-action, awesome cast thingamajig. Check out the cast listing, minus the one I’m reporting on now:

Toll Road (new character) is Randy Couture
Monroe is Eric Roberts
Tool (an ex-Expendable) is Mickey Rourke
Bao is Jet Li
Lee Christmas is Jason Statham
Lacy is Charisma Carpenter
Sandra is Giselle Itie (famous Brazilian actress)
And
Barney ‘the schizo’ Ross is Yours Truly (Stallone).

The hullabaloo is over the character Hale Caesar, who up until recently was Forest Whitaker. Now, it’s Curtis Jackson, better known as 50 Cent, target of yesterdays NSFW Zero Punctuation Video Game review:

So, of course, when an actor that is greatly respected is replaced by an actor that isn’t, the PR machine has to turn. Sure, there were actual scheduling problems, but this time, it was Sly himself who wrote out his reasoning…