Writing by Dave on Friday, 9 May, 2008 at 10:42 am
Sometimes the news writes your story for you. With the WGA Strike going on and no new scripts being written, The Bad and Ugly is pitching news stories as films.
Ideas go to the highest bidder!
The Story: 41-year-old Arkansas resident Michelle Duggar is pregnant with her 18th child, adding to her already large family of seven sisters and ten brothers. Also, all their names start with the letter J (monogram once, use 18 times): Joshua, 20; Jana, 18; John-David, 18; Jill, 16; Jessa, 15; Jinger, 14; Joseph, 13; Josiah, 11; Joy-Anna, 10; Jeremiah, 9; Jedidiah, 9; Jason, 7; James, 6; Justin, 5; Jackson, 3; Johannah, 2; and Jennifer, 9 months.
Writing by Dave on Wednesday, 16 April, 2008 at 9:38 am
We see a lot of bizarre news stories that are made into films, or at least optioned, then tossed into a pit of development hell while the rights rot away.
All we are saying is that the heartwarming tale of Oscar the featherless cockatoo has captured our hearts. He’s ugly, he’s talented and he does a pretty accurate Mick Jagger impression for being a bird.
Maybe he can be involved with the sequel to the sure to be blockbuster Beverly Hills Chihuahua? We don’t care, give this bird something.
Writing by Dave on Thursday, 13 March, 2008 at 1:46 pm
The Incredible Hulk trailer has been bothering us all day, and now we think we know why. Chalk this up to Dave reading a lot of comics, or chalk it up to The Watchmen opening the gates for the pillaging of Alan Moore properties, but it’s about time for another Swamp Thing movie.
The Abomination looks like a half-lizard half-Swampy anyway, throw in some global warming themes and pull some sort of monster out of hell to bring about the apocalypse and you have a Swamp Thing movie that kicks some major ass.
Bonus points if the filmmakers can fit in a joke about the blatant “Wild Thing” rip-off they called a theme for the animated series:
Writing by Dave on Thursday, 21 February, 2008 at 11:41 am
The big news of yesterday wasn’t about Kirstie Alley being fat, it was about Universal snapping up the rights to all the Hasbro Toy lines except for Transformers and GI Joe, since Dreamworks and Paramount were smart enough to just buy the obviously valuable properties.
This means we’re entering a phase of Universal Hasbro movies, and it’s got us a little worried. This is ripe ground for hackery.
Imagine a Ouija Board movie that ends up being an Excorcist ripoff. Battleship is Hunt for Red October, but with lesser actors (the kind that would sign up for a film simply called Battleship and obviously based on the plot-less game), Candy Land is going to blow unless Tim Burton abandons his Alice in Wonderland film for it.
We won’t comment on a Stretch Armstrong movie other than to say that Bruce Fucking Campbell will draw us into the theater with his stretchy powers. Though about 70 mins into the movie, someone is going to have to pop Bruce in the microwave to re-liquefy his stretchy gel (yes, we know this is why our Stretch Armstrong broke).
One of the other properties sold over to Universal was Clue. It’s even listed in the Hollywood Reporter article as one of the rights aquired.
HEY UNIVERSAL! Paramount already made a Clue movie. It was horrible, but in a memorably horrible way. In a bad-is-good way.
We admit, we’re fans of Clue. The jokes are broad and quick and it has, like, 5 different endings and a bunch of stars looking like they had a whole bunch of fun with each other.Regardless of if you’ve seen or loved it, a Clue re-make sounds just as stupid as the rest of these potentially horrible films.
Then again, we said the same thing about Transformers before we got drunk and went to watch it.
But not everything is giant fighting robots, here.
Writing by Dave on Friday, 18 January, 2008 at 9:59 am
Sometimes the news writes your story for you. With the WGA Strike going on and no new scripts being written, The Bad and Ugly is pitching news stories as films.
Writing by Dave on Friday, 11 January, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Sometimes the news writes your story for you. With the WGA Strike going on and no new scripts being written, The Bad and Ugly is pitching news stories as films.
