Ladies and gentlemen, a historic event has just been documented: a seal has attempted to have sex with a penguin.

This is an event that MSNBC describes as: the “first example seen in the wild of a sexual escapade between a mammal and a different kind of vertebrate such as a bird, reptile or fish.

The article (you can read it all by clicking “Read More…”) is full of gems like: ” The seal then alternated between resting on the penguin and thrusting its pelvis at the bird in vain attempts to insert its penis for 45 minutes.”

And: ” At first we thought it was hunting the penguin, but then it became clear that his intentions were rather more amorous”

It’s glorious, and a first!

Dave used to work in a pottery painting studio back when he lived in Colorado. He was a teenager and was finally reduced to ONLY firing pottery after a year of employment.

It was because he couldn’t stand bratty little kids who had no idea how to act in social situations. Not only that, but the kid could be as old as ten and Dave would watch it break things while the parents looked on, eyes glazed-over, unaware their kid was doomed to be a little brat well into his 30s.

This video made Dave so happy.

We’ve been doing Brief Absurdity since the site’s launch and we think this is pretty much the most absurd clip ever. It looks like it was made way back before you couldn’t do shit like this to dogs without getting fined, sued or protested.

As a result, nothing like this clip will ever exist again.

Try not to think too much, this clip is safe for work (or wherever), but needs no synopsis.

From the villain banker stroking a dead rat to the “Self Destruct” option on the fort. From the “Bond girl’s” non-joke name to the stabbing/screwing device, this VH1 sponsored short “Homeless James Bond” should get its own show.

But we might only be saying that because Viacom picked up The Hills for another craptacular season.

22-year old college student Masha Markova was lucky enough to attend a celebrity birthday party at a club called 1Oak. Masha took off her $11K mink coat and put it on the seat next to her, then sat down.A pile of coats ended up being the only thing between her and Lindsay Lohan.

Lohan, celeb B-days, overpriced furs, this girl has it made!

Then, after the party was over, she noticed her coat was missing. Masha reported the missing coat to the 1Oak management, who said they would keep an eye out for it.

Then, Masha was flipping through OK! Magazine when she spotted the left-hand picture above.

Yup. Lindsay took her coat.

Details on this absurdity after the cut.

Why aren’t you playing Grand Theft Auto IV right now? It has so may unique features to simulate Liberty City, from it’s own Flickr to it’s own Craigslist (craplist!) to the ability to go online and kill people in the multiplayer ‘verse.

Here’s the embarrassing thing: GTA’s faux-celebrity journalism following coke heiress Chloe Parker (Paris Hilton, anyone?) is a pitch perfect combo of TMZ and Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.

And it’s pretty complete, making us drool over the Xbox 360 we haven’t bought yet, even though Halo was enough. Now, we have no excuse.

In honor of the 25th Anniversary of the release of Return of the Jedi, comedy group Runaway Box and Lando remind us about the native teddy bears of Endor.

And now for the second installment of Spider-Man 1-3’s James Franco trying to teach his brother Dave about acting.

Kevin Nealon and an old guy are happy to be spreading awareness about the little known follow-up to Earth Day.

Good thin we have all those pebbles to snack on before rock-lunch.

It’s not everyday that you get to see a golden eagle kill a goat by dropping it off a cliff, though it is once a day that we allow ourselves to post something as unrelated to our content as an eagle dropping a goat off a cliff.

The world-famous HOLLYWOOD sign that has been used by TV and movie directors in more scene-setting shots than a film student could ever count was first erected in 1923 to promote real estate in the fledgling capital of celluloid.

Eighty-five years later, some fear the sign and the hillside on which it sits are threatened by, yes, a real estate deal.

An investment group that owns 138 sage-covered acres above and to the left of the 45-foot-high, steel-and-concrete H put the land up for sale last month for $22 million

Residents led by a city councilman are fighting to preserve the parcel, known as Cahuenga Peak.

“That is our Eiffel Tower,” Councilman Tom LaBonge said. “There is the Hollywood sign. There is the open space. And that’s all there is. This is ours and it should remain ours.”

The parcel has a distinctly Hollywood back story: It was once owned by billionaire Howard Hughes.

Lore has it that Hughes bought it in 1940 — 17 years after the publisher of the Los Angeles Times spelled out his plans for a nearby subdivision in King Kong-size letters — with dreams of building an estate to share with Ginger Rogers.

“It’s true the Hollywood sign was originally a sign to help sell development. But by 1945 the City Council of Los Angeles had made it the official iconic sign of Los Angeles,” Wanamaker said. “It’s just become part of the culture and landmark status of Los Angeles, extremely important.”

Carswell said there is something ironic about the effort to block real estate development around the site.

“Those letters were a real estate developer’s advertisement. That’s the whole way the sign got there,” he said. “So I think it’s the perfect circle.”

Read about the whole affair here.

Ready to be a pop star ladies? Erykah Badu will tell you what it takes.

The absurd part is that without the hokey trombone music in the background to distract you from the unsettling fact that Erykah Badu isn’t really joking, basically everything she said would work.

Britney is doing better, Paris is f*cking boring, Ashlee Simpson is all knocked up and Amy Winehouse refuses to do anything really interesting.

It’s already been agreed upon that we now need to bring the celebrity gossip gods the head of Miley Cyrus, but we’re unsure how to approach this task.

Mostly because we keep finding stuff online like this video blog presented as a one off, but somehow also involving full scale choreography?

If this is the press we get on Miley Cyrus, it means she’s still in control of her own press.

Which means we have to dig deeper. But, until then, can someone tell us what the hell this video is supposed to be doing/promoting/selling?

We’re confused all over the place with this Teenie Bopper 2.0 marketing.

There are a plethora of things that are absurd about this video. We will list as many as we feel like:

1) The audience isn’t psyched that they are about to see another series of jokes about how stupid our president is until they find out that it’s Farrell doing his impersonation (many thought this had been removed from Will Farrell’s repertoire). This means that we have reached the point where Will Farrell’s Bush is actually more popular than Bush himself as well as all the other Bush impersonations.

2) Jokes about how stupid George Bush is still flow from the comedy circuit, though they’ve all been made in different media. Yeah, we know he’s stupid, but no it’s like the other half of America that just learned this wants in on the joke. For those of us that knew from the beginning; we’re a little tired of this.

3) This was done for Comedy Central’s Night of Too Many Stars: An Overbooked Benefit For Autism Education.” HuffPo reports the event “was started by “Saturday Night Live” writer Robert Smigel, who’s son is autistic. Ferrell, as Bush, shared reflections of his legacy with host Jon Stewart.” Apparently no one taught whomever was writing the blurbs over there the difference between “who’s” and “whose.” Why isn’t The Huffington Post hiring us?

4) This video was hosted on FunnyOrDie before YouTube, meaning Farrell already has a system in place to market even his cameos for personal gain.