You like noir, you say? Sin City tickle you? Did you want to chain smoke cigarettes and go after those who wronged your dame? After Brick, were you wondering why your high school experience was soft boiled in comparison.

I dig noir almost as much as I dig sci-fi. They both have their tropes, but these days with actioneers bleeding into sci-fi/fantasy territory because it allows people to make pretty CGI, the hard boiled detective noir stories look like a series of cliches.

I’m not sure if it’s bad that director Russell Mulcahy (Resident Evil: Exitinction) and writer Mark Hosack have the dame in red, the detective behind his desk and stoic reaction shots of Thomas Jane as he unravels the deal gone wrong.

This is how familiarity works for non-franchise films. If you’re into noir and violence and caper films, the second trailer for Give ‘Em Hell Malone (the first was just violence) actually does what it’s supposed to: shows you what to expect.

The above production still from District 9 a film produced by Peter Jackson and written and directed by 3D special effects artist Neill Blomkamp went up on Coming Soon without me paying much attention. Talk about the ShoWest trailer had me intrigued, but I’m not gonna lie; the way ti was described I thought it was going to be some sort of “aliens used to live here” mocumentary. Sort of if Cloverfield met 60 minutes.

That being said, I wasn’t far off in the plot/style department, but WAYYYY off in the coolness department. The more this movie’s advertising evolves, the more interesting it gets and the more I move District 9 up my list of badass sci-fi to take in this summer.

The first teaser graced the webs last week and piqued my interest by coming on like a documentary about immigration…until they showed me a huge spaceship and an alien I couldn’t understand with a pixelated face.

If that wasn’t cool enough, and it was, IMDB released and then pulled an “uncensored” and subtitled version of the trailer, which actually added pathos to the alien by showing his face and letting us know that the humans are keeping the aliens on Earth, in District 9, seemingly against their will.

I’m interested in this movie and the preview hasn’t even breached the Kafka-esque plotline. The movie takes place in South Africa, where a man is sent to do an investigation within the alien district. He’s infected by some kind of alien bio agent, and learns enough about the condition of the aliens’ lives to start fighting against humans on their behalf, possibly by slowly turning into one.

Nifty huh?

I think so.

Nothing like sci-fi with awesome effects, sympatheti aliens and a timely immigration theme.

Me, yesterday: “Hey Ryan, before I go, I wanna pull up the new Transformers trailer on you laptop, ok?”

Ryan: Yeah sure.

(minutes later)

Me: Sweet, come take a look at the last seconds of this trailer. Devastator is huge.

Ryan: I’m not interested in Transformers.

Me: Why not? They’re the best.

Ryan: They are NOT the best.

Me: That’s not what I mean. I mean that it’s a special effects movie and from this trailer, it looks like it might be the best special effects movie this summer.

Ryan: I don’t care about that Shia LaBeouf stuff.

Me: Me niether. But you have some of the best motion graphics artists in the world disassembling vehicles and rebuilding them as giant fighting robots. And each part needs to respond to the light a certain way, and have it’s own weight…it’s complex stuff.

Ryan: I get it. I just have no interest in seeing it.

Me: Not even in IMAX? Dude, if you like visual effects and/or robots you need to see this movie this summer.

Ryan: I don’t like visual effects or robots.

Me: What you talking about, Willis?

Ryan: Okay, I kinda like robots.

Trailer under the cut…

Yeah, there’s some backstory here about when the trailer was supposed to premiere (during tonight’s IMAX screenings), and stuff about what’s in the trailer that I could possibly detail, but it’s just a YouTube link.

The one bad thing about Michael Bay Transformers movies is that the previews need to be in hi def to blow your pants off. Especially when Devastator shows up to…

Ok, is anyone else starting to get a little autobiographical blurring between Rob Zombie and Halloween 2? The guy was totally into death a metal and really f*cked up story plots about houses with many corpses, but the trailer for H2, plus the above picture of mask-less, bearded Taylor Mane as Michael Myers draws the question: Is Rob Zombie inhabiting this serial killer a bit too much?

Grungy beard, dead look in the eyes, obsession with killing and death. All Zombie needs to become his version of Michael Myers is a ghostly-looking mother figure that pushes him to commit murders. At least, that’s what the trailer seems to be showing. Add this to the creepy list: Myer’s head-witch that suddenly appears in H2 is played by Sherri Moon Zombie, Rob’s wife.

Let’s hope Sherri isn’t asking him to kill people, because each Halloween movie Zombie makes see Myers become more like the director.

Kinda creepy.

Trailer after the jump…

Wow, a new Wolverine trailer popped up online today. It’s an internet only trailer, which means 20th Century Fox is trying to win back those of you that torrented the Wolverine leak.

There is much debate going on right now as to just how different the theatrical cut will be from the unfinished version that was splashed across so many websites. Initial reports that there were 10 minutes of key scenes left out are starting to be discussed again since the running time announced for the May 1st finished version is a round 107 minutes…just like the leaked version.

The interesting thing here is that Fox is even trying to get y’all to see this moive. Honestly, it’s tracking well enough even without us internet geeks that they could have just flipped us the bird and gone along their merry way to the first summer hit.

But they didn’t. They re-cut the last trailer ever so slightly and presented it to you, the internet, today. It’s like they’re saying they hate us, but would still REALLY like our money.

That being said, anything I have against Fox is not things that I have against Wolverine. I think Wolverine is a fine film, I even reccommeded it to my own mother yesterday. Except I told her she wasn’t a comic fan, therefore she’d probably like it. You see, SHE is the audience for this movie: people who just want to see another X-Men movie with the promise of super-sexy Hugh Jackman.

Though my mom did say she was checking with me because the friends she brought to Watchmen “thinking it was a fun superhero movie,” might “never go to a movie with me again.”

Comic fans: go buy the Black Frieghter or read up on comic films like Kick-Ass.

Action movie fans: Check out the internet exclusive trailer and get ready for the summer movie season…

What I’m told is the FINAL trailer for Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince has hit the ‘nets, and - boy! - after all that filler ad campaign bullcrap, it’s nice to see some flash and bang for a film that’s been done since last November, based on a book I’ve read a few times.

From floating girls to Snape on defense to a score with elevated urgency, THIS is the trailer that’s gonna get my butt in a seat come July…