Ok, newsworthy or not, it’s time to talk about last night’s episode of House. Don’t worry, we’ll give you something to hold your attention, Lisa Edelstein’s Cuddy stripping in a schoolgirl uniform, but House continues to film their show non-stop until August, praying that their won’t be another strike when SAG’s contact goes up at the end of June.

There probably will be a strike, but House has most of their fifth season planned already.

Learn about that, watch the hottest broadcast stripping scene of recent memory and learn some details about it from Lisa, all inside.

What do Heroes, ER, Brothers & Sisters, Dirty Sexy Money, House, Bones, CSI, CSI: Miami, CSI: NY, NCIS and My Name Is Earl all have in common? They are all still in production despite the usually-horrible summer TV season already upon us (NBC’s All American Summer, anyone?).

This is because of the Writer’s Strike, though if you talk to anyone in production, they will call it “the new method of television production,” or some such thing.

When the WGA took to the streets and effectively shut down TV, most programs got a two-month hiatus smack-dab in the middle of their seasons. After the strike, most abruptly halted shows went back into production with an abbreviated episode order. Some, like House, were forced to move whole plot lines into next season.

But now that production has resumed and finales have been filmed, what are some of TV’s most consistent shows doing still shooting episodes? And why is Heroes in production even though they (wisely) decided to prematurely end Season 2?

It’s all part of the reactionary system of television production, which is going to make itself known to the world during next week’s upfronts…

If you have been following our coverage of Union Bitch-Fight 2008, you’re pretty aware that SAG and AMPTP negotiations were only extended for two, paltry days before the AMPTP was going to break off and negotiate with AFTRA in an attempt to rope in SAG by getting AFTRA to agree to a similar deal as the WGA and the DGA.

The difference being that SAG’s been asking for more money over a few different issues, notably the actor-centric pay scale for guest appearances and extras.

As expected, the AMPTP called off negotiations with the Screen Actor’s Guild, leading SAG to issue a pres release to its members demonizing the AMPTP while simultaneously trumpeting: “Guild Offers to Continue and Negotiate ‘Around the Clock’ to Complete Deal.”

We’ll let sit the fact that they’ve just now started to go “around the clock” now that negotiations have stopped. A rational person would ask: shouldn’t you have been going around the clock this whole time, since failure to reach a deal will result in another costly strike?

Luckily, we don’t need a rational person, ‘cause Michael Bay went and got pissed all over his message boards.

The negotiations between the Screen Actors Guild and the producers and money-lovers of the AMPTP have decided to meet both today and tomorrow to continue negotiations that all industry news sites have dubbed futile.

AFTRA, SAG’s annoying little sister is ready to step in on Wednesday and negotiate a deal that will work as a wedge in-between SAG and what SAG is demanding, so what does SAG do?

Reduces their demands.

What they are no longer asking for and why it’s f*cking stupid after the cut.

The AMPTP has released a statement talking about how the negotiations with the Screen Actor’s Guild have reached a stalemate:

The AMPTP has been negotiating with SAG now for 13 days. Last week, we asked AFTRA to delay the start of its negotiations until May 5th so that we could give the SAG talks every opportunity to produce an agreement. Since the SAG negotiations are due to wrap up on Friday, May 2nd, today is a good time to let you know where things stand.
When we requested an extra week for the SAG negotiations, we told you that there were “significant gaps” between the parties. Candidly, we must offer the same assessment of the negotiations today, with just over two days to go. Although both parties have spent considerable time in the negotiating room, we are not yet close to an agreement.

Followed by a SAG press release that was all like: “Nah-Uh! You suck!”

Seriously, the game plan has been obvious: strike a crappy deal with AFTRA (the faction split off from SAG), then force that deal down SAG’s throat while feature films wither on the vine.

Don’t expect to see a lot of actors cast in films over the next couple of months. No one is going to greenlight anything with a star attached only to have to shut down production.

This blows, kids.

This is semi-breaking, so off to DHD:

I can now report that the negotiations between the Screen Actors Guild and the AMPTP are not making any progress with both sides very far apart and very frustrated. Negotiators for the Hollywood CEOs are privately making it clear they plan to make a deal first with AFTRA in order to use that as a wedge to soften up SAG. And, get this — my sources tell me that the AMPTP is now prepared to wait out SAG for a deal until as late as mid-July.

What did the AMPTP learn from the writers’ strike?

-Their audience will take a lot of punishment.
-Unions are weak, and carry large sticks manufactured to look powerful.
-They don’t need to give up shit in terms of DVD and NewMedia.
-Money rules everything and they have more of it.

Here comes STTTTTEEEERRRIIIKKKEEE TWO!

In simple terms: The AMPTP hasn’t been able to break SAG as quickly as they thought, but only because SAG is asking for better deals than the ones given to the WGA and the DGA. SAG wants more, but the AMPTP is going to play hard ball.

If negotiations have really reached a stalemate, nothing will happen during next week’s SAG/AMPTP talks, the AMPTP will eventually start up long-delayed meetings with AFTRA, who will either make a the same deal or make a worse deal (heaven forbid they re-align with SAG), then the AMPTP suits just wait for SAG to crack.

The AMPTP is willing to wait until July, but the SAG contacts go up in June.

For those of you still nervous about either a SAG strike or a rift between Unions, this very short press release should keep you updated:

Screen Actors Guild and the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers have agreed to extend our bargaining session by one week. The parties will continue negotiations through May 2, 2008. We have no further comment.

No further comment because SAG is trying to go all Western and draw the line or no further comment because the AMPTP is finding a way to screw the actors in entirely new different ways?

Maybe they are doing this to get AFTRA all nervous?

Man, today was easier when we just had to look up pictures of hot women.

The Screen Actors Guild has started partnering with The Film Department to sign ”guaranteed completion contracts” on nine independent films. No word on if these “indies” are really independent or just on one of the indie arms of the big studios.

We’re going to assume that they are for real, dirt-cheap art-house flicks, because that’s what would make these deals matter at all.

Basically, you have to be a certain distance from Hollywood-Studio-Land to qualify for a completion contract. This contract is SAG’s guarantee to the filmmakers that even if the negotiations with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers end up with another costly strike, your SAG actors won’t be pulled off set.

Good news, sort of, but overall inconsequential to the billion dollar industry that is being threatened.

SAG and the AMPTP started “negotiating” Tuesday and we finally got The Office back last Thursday, so whatever SAG is going to do (be it stupid or groundbreaking) we hope they do it soon.

We just want our TV.

The Writers’ Guild hasn’t stopped trying to bring hell to the major studios, cheering on about a dozen workers from American Idol, Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?, and American Inventor as they filed 21 complaints at a California labor office.

The employees allege that they are owed unpaid overtime and subsequent penalties that would total over half-a-million dollars.

TV and animation writers went largely ignored in the WGA strike because of just how nasty it got, but they are consistently the most shat-upon in the industry.

Writes DHD:

The WGA did a study and found that 88% of reality writers work more than 40 hours a week, yet 91% receive no overtime pay. The study also found that 73% of respondents work through their meal break at least once a week. Most of the workers polled did not receive any form of health care or pension benefits. Yet analysts estimate that American Idol has earned over $200 million in profits for the Fox broadcast network.

“Despite the huge profits made by the companies that produce these shows, many of the workers – including writers, production assistants, contestant coordinators, craft services, and office workers – work long hours without receiving overtime compensation or being allowed to take proper breaks,” said a statement by the WGA.

That sounds a lot like this Sunday’s New York Time piece on bloggers.

But don’t worry, we love our bosses.

Not only is the WGA filing labor suits, but is distributing a lengthy press release about Senate Bill 1765, the Fair Market Value Bill. The California State Senate Judiciary Committee passed it today, meaning it will now go before the full California State Senate.

Stick with us, this is dry, but important.

The bill moves to make underselling illegal. Underselling is the practice of selling off a TV show, movie or other property under its “market value” to another subsidiary of your parent company. This is only important because residuals, pension, healthcare and welfare funds are based on the selling price.

Basically, let’s say that my friend and I (pardon our use of the singular, editor gods) make an awesome “I Drink Your Milkshake” t-shirt. We make a run of 100. I tell my friend that I will give him 10% of any profits I make on the t-shirts.

Because my t-shirt is awesome, there is instant demand and our shop (that is only selling one t-shirt at this moment) is filled with people wanting the shirt.

The guy who owns the building next-door is also selling t-shirts, and we went to college together, so I decide to hook him up. Instead of selling 100 t-shirts at $10-a-pop, I give my buddy the 100 shirts for $100 and make him buy me a prostitute.

Now, my original friend just saw his earnings go from $100 to $10 because I sold to someone for my own benefit and under market value.

Make sense?

This is pissing the MPAA off to no end, as it represents the same studios that just went through hell to end the first strike.

They speedily released a statement:

“Though not unexpected, today’s vote by the State Senate Judiciary is regrettable. SB 1765 is an ill-conceived bill that would criminalize legitimate business decisions by producers of movies and TV programs as they seek to generate revenue created for producers and talent alike. Films and television shows would have to be immediately sold to the highest bidder, upending the successful business practices that have made the entertainment industry a vital engine in the California State economy, creating more than half a million jobs and bringing nearly $43 billion of economic activity to the State each year.

“Of equal concern, this bill would essentially force a legislative ‘do-over’ of the collective bargaining agreement that settled the writers’ strike, which cost the California economy $2.5 billion. Writers and producers made an extraordinary effort to reach a fair deal that put an end to that work stoppage. Enabling the Writers Guild to do an end-run around the collective bargaining process would set a dangerous precedent for future labor negotiations.”

So, who is being unfair here?

More importantly, we have yet to see if this really would up-end everything the strike was for in the first place.

Either way, this shit is about to go down, and the WGA refuses to let anyone forget about them.

SAG won it’s little tiff with AFTRA and gets to negotiate with the Majors first, sitting down with the AMPTP on April 15th, 13 days before AFTRA gets to negotiate independently.

If there is much negotiating to be done, as this open letter from the AMPTP has some menacing undertones:

Our upcoming negotiations — starting with SAG on April 15th and AFTRA on April 28th — will be guided by the same principles that helped us reach groundbreaking agreements with the DGA and the WGA:

First, we are committed to creating a genuine economic partnership with the talented men and women who help us create entertainment. That means that we should all share fairly in the revenues we generate — including new revenue from the emerging areas of new media.

Second, our new economic partnership must give all of us the flexibility we need to adapt to rapidly changing markets and technologies. Too many industries have failed to respond quickly enough to these changes, and we are determined to position our businesses — and the employees and shareholders who rely on them — to succeed and grow in this challenging environment.

Third, actors, directors, writers, and the people who work behind-the-scenes on entertainment productions are all vitally important to our mutual business endeavors. We remain committed to ensuring that the rewards of our success are distributed fairly among all of our industry’s talent, so that we all have appropriate and meaningful stakes in the outcome of our work.

Fourth, we will continue to work as hard as we can — and to make the reasonable compromises that are necessary — to avoid any additional, needless work stoppages.Fortunately, the three labor agreements already reached — with the DGA, the WGA, and the AFTRA Network Code — provide the new framework for our industry’s economic future. We hope that our negotiations with SAG and AFTRA will bolster this new economic framework, enabling all of us to share equitably in the success of new media and to respond with creativity and swiftness to market changes. If our industry relies on this new framework, we can all avoid more harmful and unnecessary strikes.

The concerning sentence is this one: ” the three labor agreements already reached — with the DGA, the WGA, and the AFTRA Network Code — provide the new framework for our industry’s economic future.”

Translation: “Don’t you even try to push us on digital media rights and DVD residuals. We’ve fought bigger fish and won, we have no interest in bending for two actors unions who can’t even show solidarity.”

We aren’t the only ones who are reading into that sentence, it’s a pretty clear threat, or as threatening as you can be in an open letter, unless you are a gossip blogger.

Open letter to the AMPTP: You might have the industry over a barrel with their ass-cheeks spread, but the people are still watching and sending our pure hatred your way. We enjoyed last week’s South Park, which shed some light on the hypocrisy of unions, but we know Executives Are Idiots that ruin art forms.

Yeah, we’re as surprised as you are. Sort of.

Neilsen reports that primetime viewership during the November -February strike went down 6.1% on network television, but overall television usage went up .5%. So, folks weren’t watching primetime, but they were watching more TV.

Looking back on the strike period, we aren’t remembering a lot of family board games or even books we read, business did just kind of continue as usual (if it didn’t increase while trying to find enough stories every day to keep the site interesting).

The funny thing is that the ratio between original shows and syndicated content shifted only 6.5%, almost the exact same amount as the viewership decrease.

Surprise TV Execs! People are smart. They found out when their shows were going to air, when they were going to start repeating and tuned in for what they wanted to.

The rest of us fled to the internet, basic cable (a 1.4% jump), DVDs (+17.4%), and video games (+37.5%).

You’re not reading the stats wrong, people actually watched MORE TV during the WGA strike, but didn’t watch their favorite Primetime shows after they went into reruns. The public also found time to give a big boost to alternative television media with a respectable bump in DVDs and a relatively substantial bump in video games.

Looks like all that Halo 3 we played to pass the hours paid off…in statistics!

Now if only we could use those stats to pick up women somehow…

We’re really split on this, because on one hand we’ve pledged our undying loyalty to Clooney on multiple occasions. On the other hand, we’re pro-WGA and have been for years, simply because the writers always get screwed and the union is important.

But, it does look like they might have messed this one up.

First, think Fi-Core. When a WGA member goes “Fi-Core,” they drop a lot of their Union rights, but also pay about 1.9% less in dues. You can’t vote in any WGA elections. You get health and pension plans, but that’s basically all you are paying for. Going “Fi-Core” is irreversible, and a few writers jumped ship this way during the WGA strike so they could keep writing in good conscience.

It seems like George Clooney quietly went Fi-Core before the WGA Strike in a form of protest.

The film is Leatherheads and it’s years ago. Clooney has just finished Good Night and Good Luck and he is looking for something lighter to do, so he takes the 17-year old script for Leatherheads, written by Duncan Brantley and Rick Reilly , to Italy with him in an attempt to “fix” it.

Clooney came back with a new script that he got green lit, then he took the reins and directed it. That’s when a WGA rule kicked in.

If the director or producer of a film is proposed for final credit, an automatic arbitration is triggered. This arbitration involves a 3 person panel of WGA writers who read multiple drafts of the script and judge who deserves the writing credit. By union guidelines, a director seeking a writer’s credit needs to have written 50% or more of the film.

The vote came down 2-1 that Clooney didn’t meet the qualifications for a writer’s credit, and George went Fi-Core in protest. He did this quietly and before the WGA strike. He didn’t want news to get out and the media to spin him as some sort of anti-WGA monster, because he’s Clooney, and Clooney rolls responsibly.

“When your own union doesn’t back what you’ve done, the only honorable thing to do is not participate,” said Clooney to Variety after stressing that he isn’t suggesting Brantley and Reilly should have been excluded.

Clooney’s partner in Smoke House Productions told the trades: “George liked ‘Leatherheads,’ but said it never felt quite right. He took it to Italy with him, and I remember when he called to say he thought he’d solved it. One thing that you clearly see, if you read the original, the subsequent drafts and then his draft, is that he wrote the majority of the film. When I got the call about the decision that he wasn’t getting credit, I was shocked. We both thought Duncan and Rick would get first position credit, which they deserved. But this wasn’t right.”

“He doesn’t take possessory credit because he believes this is a collaborative business and he’s not a guy who needs credit,” Heslov continued. “Financial core was his form of protest, but when he did it, he didn’t want it public. We’re both big union guys. Between us, we belong to 12 unions. I think they made the wrong decision, and he was within his rights to respond by going financial core.”

Since Leatherheads opens today, the story is slowly breaking.

Just go see the film and imagine that it says: Written By Duncan Brantley and Rick Reilly and George Clooney.

Oh the irony of the news cycle.

Just yesterday, we took a break from the pointless April Fools jokes to talk to you about the very serious tiff going on between the two unions, one that could very well end up costing Hollywood millions.

But yesterday, AFTRA prexy Ron Morgan and SAG big-wig Alan Rosenberg appeared at a press conference to talk about getting along and to try not to scratch each other’s eyes out.

Writes Variety:

[The pair] appeared at a news conference to build awareness for the “March From Hollywood to the Docks” that will start April 15 next to the La Brea Tar Pits and conclude two days later with a rally at the Port of Los Angeles.

During Tuesday’s news conference, Rosenberg and Morgan refrained from any attacks and professed the importance of union solidarity in pushing forward on bread-and-butter issues such as wages, health-care coverage and retirement. Morgan, who’s also veep of the L.A. County Federation of Labor, noted that AFTRA has already negotiated its network code and sound recordings deals this year.

Asked about the contradiction of professing unity in the wake of the ongoing jurisdictional battle, Morgan said, “This is a really good example of us being civil to each other while trying to do what’s best for our members and not attacking each other.”

The article itself is about SAG opening negotiations with the AMPTP on April 15th as the first negotiators, a position AFTRA was trying to maneuver into with it’s split.

Essentially, we’re surprised Rosenberg didn’t thumb his nose at Morgan, who is looking the idiot right now.

All is civil between those who enjoy long walks to the beach.

We told you this weekend when the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists split from the Screen Actors Guild in negotiating with the AMPTA over the renewed television and screen contracts for the unions that go up this June.

This is going to cause another work stoppage, most probably, and one that we will feel much more immediately as productions begin to shut down when their actors walk.

Today, both SAG and AFTRA released statements including minor digs at each other. They are lengthy and petty and you can read about them under the cut.

For those that don’t like to read too much, here’s a breakdown in the simplest manner possible:

AMPTP: The producers will now probably begin talks with AFTRA before SAG, since logic dictates they will be easier to beat up on. It’s in the AMPTP’s best interest to quickly cut AFTRA off at the knees, get them to sign something, then use that deal as leverage in their negotiations with SAG

AFTRA: They represent fewer clients, but want to be taken seriously. Tensions between them and SAG have lead to a split, and they want to be the ones to broker and awesome deal first, if they can hold up against the AMPTP without prolonging the work stoppage. If stuff stays closed and AFTRA got to the table first, blame will be heaped upon them.

SAG:: They are huge and a bargaining force to be reckoned with. Too bad Alan Rosenberg is still; stalling, because SAG is now in a race to jump-start negotiations and score a deal before AFTRA or simultaneously. They really screwed the pooch on this one, pitting actor against actor, but their numbers still make them the key players.

Should you not trust the wisdom of the B&U, excerpts from the press releases with some explanatory commentary will be placed below the cut, should you want to “Read More…”