Today I thought I’d touch on a light hearted topic, plenty of deeper stuff for other times. The nice, light, easygoing world of comic book adaptations, unless you’re geektacular like me, in which case there’s not too much light-hearted about it at all. I was wondering when and how this became a genre, because that’s what it seems to be these days. Just out of interest I thought I’d jot down the names of every single comic book adaptation that I’ve seen (and I haven’t seen them all – a rare and uncharacteristic non-geek admission), and I came to 44. Forty-four. To put that in perspective, that’s the total number of films Woody Allen will have released come July when Whatever Works comes out. Including compilations, unfinished works and shorts, Alfred Hitchcock directed 67 in total. So 44 is a pretty staggering number considering more than a few have the reputation of not being particularly good… oh, Dick Tracy… make that 45. I Guess Woody will have to finish another to break even.
Superman – The big hitters (clichéd – even naming it this makes me feel boy-scoutish)
Where else to start but the Batman franchises? They’ve been just about the most solid producer of quality films to date (excluding the catastrophes which occurred once Joel Schumacher sank his talons into the franchise). Batman, Batman Returns, Batman Begins and The Dark Knight are must-sees in the genre and clearly worthy of a spot in any reputable top ten list. The original Superman of Christopher Reeves is just iconic to the genre, but if I were to pick one for my must-sees stack I’ll take a grab at Superman II. And while we’re talking sequels better than the original, slide in X-Men 2 to boot. Singer had that second movie to develop the characters and introduce Brian Cox as Stryker, and it all came together. Not to mention a reward for the fanboys that was as subtle as we’ve seen, with an allusion to the prospect of Phoenix to come.
Green Lantern – Big-time stars with a significant flaw (damn you, yellow!)
In the comic book adaptation world, that pretty much straight-up describes Iron Man. That film is mint up until the final conflict - amp up the final showdown with Iron Monger. The two Hulk movies belong here for very different reasons. Ang Lee’s Hulk seemed a tad too cerebral for popcorn audiences and as a result, despite the emotions being fully developed between father and son Banners, the ending seemed a bit out of place. (I’m personally not a huge fan of being constantly reminded that THIS CAME FROM A COMIC BOOK, SEE? SPLIT CAMERA PANELS, SEE? COMIC! GOT IT?!? as Ang Lee chose to present it, but that’s likely just personal preference.) As a result of the “Grr, Hulkfan brain hurt, me smash… no, me not return to cinema and tell friends no bother either” response to the first, we saw Incredible Hulk become the story of a man’s inner turmoil of trying to contain a hideous CGI plot-less slugfest. And that was just the off-screen stuff with Norton trying to keep some depth in Louis Leterrier’s blob-brawl.
Watchmen was shot about as honestly to the source material as you could get without the film being three and a half hours long and requiring an intermission (with a glaring Rorschach exception, coming soon), although I’m not entirely sure why this couldn’t be a real epic anyway. That could just be my own nerdish bias showing again, though.
Batman – Pretty amazing stuff from a mere mortal
When I think of a quality comic book movie with a paltry budget I immediately think of The Punisher. No, not that one (although Drago can terrify criminals without even making an appearance), the Thomas Jane/John Travolta micro-budgetPunisher. It was not only a solid comic book movie, but restored the action genre to the golden days of yore with stuntwork, explosions and an actual plot. These three things have gone missing in recent years, and call me nostalgic, but at times I long for more than just two massive CGI blobs beating the crap out of one another. For those times I can just slap in Punisher (or more than likely another good ol’ action movie like Die Hard or an Ahnold special) and relive the memories. Honestly, since Thomas Jane pulled out of Punisher: War Journal I’ve gone from concern to complete apathy. A History of Violence was another solid, well-paced graphic novel adaptation; don’t go in expecting a blockbuster, but it’s decent. Going back and looking at the period-piece, The Rocketeer is another solid movie with some solid performances.
Venom – So bad they’re good
Sin City is a dark, gritty noir film which keeps to the original works of Miller (not telling anyone anything they don’t already know here). It misses out on my big-hitter list because I think it becomes a tad pretentious with it, and probably somewhat because I’m not the kind of guy who likes constant reminders that what I’m watching came from a comic book/graphic novel. I like graphic novels and I like movies, but they’re each their own medium. 300 was a big hit, put Snyder on the map to give him a crack at Watchmen, which was a visual masterpiece but which I couldn’t help but think was a little vapid. Apparently it had a lot of humour to it which people didn’t get (as Snyder claimed), in which case I’m just not on the same wavelength as Snyder. As a director it’s his responsibility to get people seeing what he sees.
Err… Domestic Violence Perpetrator… that sounds sort of like a hero… Don’t consider unless you’re taking your family (and if you are taking your family it’s quicker and less painful to just beat your kids)
These are what I live for. Critics feast on these as they inspire us to creativity and generally stand up to criticism as well as a haemophiliac in the Titty Twister. The name Joel Schumacher by itself is enough to make me twitch in memory of the agonizing death he subjected Burton’s Batman series to, first with Batman Forever, but most notably with Batman and Robin. I don’t even know where to start with Batman and Robin, but once I start I can’t stop (so to spare you all from reliving the horror, I won’t begin). The Fantastic Four movies copped a lot of flak, but as family films I think they stand up OK. At least, I maintain that they stand up a lot better than Spider-Man 3 (although most critics at the time seemed to disagree with me), which had a long list of issues. The film was too long to fit in the two villains; Kirsten Dunst needs to go the Gwen Stacy route of the comics; Venom was out of character for any continuity and had to be made so family-friendly that he probably would have best been left out altogether; the forgiveness fest at the end (which Raimi was smart enough to not try with Venom, whom he had to use as a straight bad guy who knows and accepts himself as a bad guy – which is out of character) was necessary for the younger demographic, but I’ve a feeling the ending played out better in people’s heads than what was actually on the screen.
Basically, this film has pretty much killed the interest of many in the series who have now been left disillusioned. It’s going to take some quality marketing to bring in half the box office of the first, which was extremely well anticipated. They’d also likely have to continue to pander to the younger audience somewhat to maintain the box office returns, so don’t be surprised if the Lizard isn’t a particularly dark villain (although probably still about as dark as Venom was portrayed as being), which is a tad disappointing because I think that’s where the character’s real potential lies. Seeing how much I’ve gone on about Spider-Man 3 makes me glad I didn’t start on Nipple-Suit Batman and Robin.
Abomination – OK, not a hero, but then arguably neither are these…
The less said about them, the better, so I’ll just roll off some name: Elektra, Ghost Rider, hell I’ll mention Batman and Robin. Then there’s League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, which probably belongs here, although as a family film it just about stands up. It’s barely an adaptation and is probably the best evidence we have that Alan Moore does actually have the superhuman ability to curse films that he doesn’t want made. Production was marked by constant bickering between Sean Connery and the director. It retired Connery, and the director disappeared off of the face of the earth until just this year. Peta Wilson has only just started to return – she was hoping to use the film as the stepping-stone to the next tier of actresses – and damn near every other actor disappeared without a trace. Oh, and there’s a special place in hell for whoever was responsible for Juggernaut in X-Men: The Last Stand. Brett Ratner, I’m looking at you.
‘Til next time, this has been Houndito Brigande, Lord of the Parentheses.
