Hey, you remember the preview for Labor Pains? It’s a Lindsay Lohan movie where she’s, like, the worst secretary ever and instead of getting fired, she pretends to be pregnant to avoid the axe.

Yeah, there’s a pre-economic downturn story for ya. These days, not knowing how to manage your personal birth control still get you fired.

But, pretending that Lehman Brothers didn’t happen, the film was possibly going to be Lohan’s return to a film star, a reputation she destroyed by going on a high-speed, coke-fueled chase and getting arrested right before her latest movie was released. Also, that movie was I Know Who Killed Me, which did great…at the Razzies.

So what happened to Lindsay’s comeback…?

From Access Hollywood:

Lindsay’s new film, “Labor Pains,” will not be released in theaters, Access Hollywood has learned.

Instead, the comedy will premiere on ABC Family, a source for the film’s production company, Nu Image/Millennium Films, confirmed to Access.

The movie will debut on the cable channel in July 2009, with a DVD release coming in August.

In the film, which wrapped production in August 2008, Lindsay plays a woman who fakes being pregnant to save herself from being fired and is then forced to keep the lie going for nine months.

However, the source did say the movie would hit theaters internationally. No release date was available.