That’s right. The reviewer I linked to earlier to clear up the whole SPOILERIFFIC Deadpool/Weapon XI fiasco has altered his review after a few cried foul.
If you want to know the fate of Deadpool/Ryan Reynolds, just who Weapon XI is, and…uh…THE ENTIRE PLOT to X-Men Origins: Wolverine, I have it.
This is one of those jumps you probably shouldn’t make with me, unless you’re ready to be pissed off. Not to mention that if you want ANY surprises when you head into the theater two weeks after Star Trek opens, you might want to not read this one. ‘Cause:
SPOILERS, SPOILERS, SPOILERS!
From We Are Movie Geeks, with italic commentary by myself:
UPDATE:
I got another email from my source and he wants to add more stuff to this so that everyone knows he really has seen the movie..this DOES INCLUDE SPOILERS!
No shit, this is the whole damn plot of the movie.
Deadpool/Wade is part of the elite team that they, Logan and Victor, joined and he’s kind of the comic relief. When they’re traveling on missions together, he never shuts up and everyone is always telling him to SHUT UP…a real know-it-all. He gets into it with Wolverine and Sabretooth and they almost come to blows and he takes out his weapon ,a big silver sword, saber. Logan, who’s not yet called Woverine, diffuses the situation and calms everyone down-Victor and Wade. (This is so we establish what Wade’s weapon is for later on in the movie). Beak, (Dominic Monaghan) who uses electricity, is the first one TO DIE. Victor kills him.
Deadpool has always been comic relief to a certain point, but please make it more Ryan Reynolds in Smoking Aces and less Ryan Reynolds in Definitely Maybe. At least we know the Wolverine re-shoots greatly had to do with Deadpool, so maybe this was re-tooled. Maybe.
At the end of the movie, when Wolverine finds out that Stryker and the scientists have been taking out the DNA from the mutants, who they all now have in cages, he goes to free them all. The other member of the team, “Wraith” (played by Will.I.Am) keeps telling him the mutants are being held captive in the lab which is on the island - but Wraith doesn’t know where this Island is…The only mutant to know is the one person who’s ever escaped - which is Gambit.
Okay, this isn’t a bad Gambit reveal. Too bad all my compliments are about to get Weapon XI’d away.
Gambit then agrees to take Wolverine there and as they’re flying in Gambit’s plane….the wide shot reveals!!!!!!!!!!!!
ITS THE FAMED THREE-MILE ISLAND….THE NUCLEAR REACTORS AND ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mutants caused the meltdown? I thought all this shit took place in Canada? Weak. Sauce. Fox.
Wolverine is also now indestructable because of all the modifications that Stryker made on him back when Stryker convinced Wolverine to go after Sabretooth - all because S.T. killed Logan’s girlfriend.
When Wolverine shows up and starts kickin ass…the SuperMutant is not ready yet, but Stryker has no choice, he has to release him….and that’s when you figure out its Ryan Reynold’s character…Wade/Deadpool/SuperMutant. ITS ALL CRAZY…He has no hair, bald, his eyes are red and sunken in so he can shoot the fire outta his eyes….HE HAS EVERY MUTANT POWER…..AND….HIS MOUTH IS SEWN SHUT!!! Wolverine says, “Well Wade, looks like somebody finally shut you up” This is the reference back to the beginning when all the other mutants would tell Wade to shut up.
Oh, God! Make it stop now! I’m not even watching it and I’m cringing. “Someone finally shut you up?”
SO when Wolverine goes after him, SuperMutant/Deadpool/Wade’s trusty sword automatically comes outta his fist much like Wolverine’s blade. Now its a fight…..Deadpool has ALL the powers in this epic battle…he can disappear like The Wraith, he can shoot fire outta his eyes - pretty much indestructable. Wolverine is basically getting his ass kicked.
SO then, they’ve gone from inside the lab …and moved the fight to on top of the reactor.Deadpool is destroying everything…reactors, the everything is going down cuz he’s shooting everything with his eyes. Then, Deadpool punches him so hard Wolverine goes over the side of the reactor and in a SPLIT second, a hand reaches down to save him….AND ITS SABRETOOTH….TO SAVE THE DAY……AND YELLS, “NOBODY KILLS YOU BUT ME, BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Weak again. Not to mention that I now know too much about this movie. Fuck. Me.
(Sabretooth has been there the whole time, but wasn’t fighting - he was just rounding up all the mutants for Stryker). After he pulls him up to the roof, Sabretooth says to Wolverine “Back-to-back” and they position themselves back to back so they can have eyes on both sides. Since they’re both attacking Deadpool, Wolverine, with one swipe, cuts Deadpool’s head clean off. Sabretooth then turns and says, “You know this doesn’t mean we’re still not enemies” and takes off…
“You know we’re going to meet in X-Men and totally not reference that any of this happened, right? Oh and I’ll look a lot like Tyler Mane.”
Then, Wolverine, has to go after Stryker and free the other mutants. But unbeknownst to Wolverine, Stryker has a magic bullet and as he’s loading the gun with it, the other scientists in the lab say, “you can’t kill Wolverine with that”. Stryker then says “Yeah I know, but if I shoot him in the head, it will erase his memory.” (Remember, Wolverine never knew where he came from).
Also undoing some of the only awesomeness in X2: X-Men United when Wolverine gets shot in the head and DOESN’T forget everything.
So as Wolverine is helping to free the mutants, Stryker goes up to him and shoots him in the head….Wolverine drops to the floor as if dead. Stryker then takes off. Cut back to WOlverine fluttering his eyes open…HE”S NOT DEAD…… The military, the shitstorm is coming after what they saw what was happening at Three-Mile-Island. Gambit runs over to tell Wolverine “WE GOTTA GO!!!” and Wolverine looks up and says, “Who are you?!?!?! Wher the hell am I?!?!??!” Gambit says “I’m a friend..you gotta trust me….We have to get outta here”
“Quickly, before everyone realizes they are setting up Gambit for a return to the X-Universe!”
CUT TO:
A Dark forest…the escaped mutants are running for their lives…..and they all stop and you see the back of abald head…and you hear Professor Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) voice only, saying “You’re all safe…come with me”
FADE TO BLACK!!!”
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
So how did everyone’s memories get erased? What happened to the mutants we can recognize but aren’t there by the time 2000’s X-Men rolls around? Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!
I’ll give this movie a partial benefit of the doubt, but right now I’m thinking that the best thing that could happen to the X-Men is Fox’s license expiring so they can all be brought home to the unified Marvel film universe. This crap is…well, crap.
