Hey, idiots at 20th Century Fox:

Stop it. Just take your damn money and stop this.

You want money, you don’t want to stop Watchmen from being released, because if you do, people like me will go to people who think Watchmen looks awesome (read: the majoirty of people who saw the trailer) and make damn sure they know exactly who got Watchmen pulled from a March 2009 release.

20th Century Fox: killers of quality entertainment.

There is a chance that this is just a feint to get Warners ready to pony up the maximum amount, but when suit meets suit on the battlefield, they aren’t thinking of people who actually want to see the movie. Warners moved Harry Potter from this November to Summer 2009. They are sitting on a movie with a built in audience just to make more money. They WILL go to court rather than release Watchmen at a loss.

FOX: Stop it.

“Read More” to get the details…

Oh yes, there is a movie coming out called Lesbian Vampire Killers, and we were already in favor of lesbians and vampires (we’ve been turned against killers ever since one of them murdered Dave’s grandma). We’ve got a poster and a trailer inside…

Gentleman (and lesbians) of the internet, Zooey Deschanel (or “the rich man’s Katy Perry” as we sometimes refer to her) looks to be off the market:

Yes Man actress Zooey Deschanel, 28, and musician Hunter Burgan are engaged! According to a source, Zooey said yes over the weekend of December 20. The couple has been together for nearly a year and a friend of the stars confides, “she is so excited.”

The source is actually InTouch, and here’s the funny part: Zooey actually got engaged to Ben Gibbard (or Death Cab For Cutie and The Postal Service) not Burgan (of AFI). Eventually the source was changed, but who in their right mind writes the wrong name in an engagement announcement only to highlight that “the couple has been together for nearly a year?”

So, to prove that we’re better than InTouch Weekly, here’s a bunch of photos of what you could have tapped if you were a successful indie musician (or - alternatively - a member of the band AFI). They may just be pictures, but at least Dave feels like he’s bested the InTouch editorial staff.

This might be the most absurd thing to happen in the final quarter of 2008…

The first question that comes to mind is: Is J.Lo really crazy enough to think this is a good idea?

What’s the best thing you can get for a person that is rich enough to buy anything (including John Mayer) and once dated Brad Pitt? How about the gift of renewed relevancy and some sweet revenge against her ex?
I bet you thought we were going to say “Angelina Jolie’s head on a platter, like John The Baptist, because she’s a saint and Jennifer Aniston is petty.” But this is the next best thing…

If you like hating on The Hills like we do (and managed not to vomit while reading this article, outlining how many Viacom employees could have been saved if MTV had canceled The Hills), you’re going to love hating on The City like we will, inside…