Gentleman (and lesbians) of the internet, Zooey Deschanel (or “the rich man’s Katy Perry” as we sometimes refer to her) looks to be off the market:

Yes Man actress Zooey Deschanel, 28, and musician Hunter Burgan are engaged! According to a source, Zooey said yes over the weekend of December 20. The couple has been together for nearly a year and a friend of the stars confides, “she is so excited.”

The source is actually InTouch, and here’s the funny part: Zooey actually got engaged to Ben Gibbard (or Death Cab For Cutie and The Postal Service) not Burgan (of AFI). Eventually the source was changed, but who in their right mind writes the wrong name in an engagement announcement only to highlight that “the couple has been together for nearly a year?”

So, to prove that we’re better than InTouch Weekly, here’s a bunch of photos of what you could have tapped if you were a successful indie musician (or - alternatively - a member of the band AFI). They may just be pictures, but at least Dave feels like he’s bested the InTouch editorial staff.