As we continue our watch on Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag’s sham marriage, we move on to their incredibly staged, yet curiously alluring “honeymoon” photos. The cheap-ass ring makes an appearance, proving that they just forgot to put them on when they exited the airport in Los Angeles.

You can imagine our groans when we realized that the Heidi/Spencer self-run media team decided to issue 90 damn photos of the couple’s honeymoon. We decided to pare them down to Heidi Montag bikini shots. If certain men get turned on by treating women as objects, then these must a frickin’ wet dream. Because we have ZERO respect for this woman and - if judged by media whoring alone - she doesn’t have any respect for her either.

Spencer Pratt may be the biggest douche in the world (watch your back David Blaine!), but he chose some nice arm candy to stroll into hell with.