What? There’s a new Star Trek movie coming out that makes Captain Kirk kind of look like a more rebellious Luke Skywalker (blasting womprats, wrecking classic cars for no reason, same thing right?) So, when Kirk gets to Toshi Station to pick up some power converters, someone convinces him to join Starfleet, where we meet all the characters we’ve come to grow and love and watch them pilot the iEnterprise around space doing things so visually stunning that TOS looks like a meditation on middle-age lethargy.

Whatever, this trailer isn’t the change-the-world trailer everyone was treating it as this Saturday morning.