We recently caught a matinee showing of Eagle Eye and nearly passed out from the pain of rolling our eyes for nearly two hours straight. If, like us, you called bullshit on just about every Big Brother conspiracy theory the filmmakers tried to jam down your throat, you better sit down for this.

Turns out “they” are watching every single one of us. But it’s not the government that is trying to keep tabs on you, it’s the media companies. According to the Wall Street Journal, a media research firm called Integrated Media Measurement is developing methods for tracking your exposure to movie trailers, TV shows and ads via your cell phone:

“IMMI embeds its software into the cellphones of the company’s 4,900 panelists. The software picks up audio from an ad or a TV show and converts it into its own digital code that is then uploaded into an IMMI database, which includes codes for media content such as TV shows, commercials, movies and songs.  

IMMI’s database then figures out what the cellphone was exposed to by matching the code. Cellphone conversations and background noise are filtered out by the software, IMMI says, since there is no “match” in the IMMI database.

To get a handle on the effectiveness of a given ad, IMMI’s data can show, for example, when a panel member is exposed to a movie trailer on TV and whether that same consumer later goes to see the movie. Similarly, IMMI data can show if a panelist watching a promo for a TV program will later watch the show, either on TV or online.”

Yeah, we’ll bet cell phone conversations and background noise are “filtered out.” If by “filtered out” they mean sent to the Eagle Eye supercomputer that will eventually “activate” you and send you on some crazy suicide mission.

In short: Fuck that noise. See you later, folks. We’re headed down to the river to introduce our cell phones to watery graves.  

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