I was dismissed from TWO juries today.

Part of me is really happy that I don’t have to come back to the courthouse and blog on my breaks from some Civil Trial over someone’s dog that didn’t have enough sense not to jump out of a high-rise window. Another part of me is wondering if I look like someone who has a bias opinion, and the remaining part is almost sure that outing myself as a blogger made lawyers strike me.

“Internet people,” I’ve heard we’re called, my friends. “Internet people:” we have a reputation for being assholes.

Regardless, I’ve received my magical piece of paper that says I don’t have to do this for another 8 years and I’m ready to go out and have a drink…

…which is, of course, the perfect time for two big news stories.

Spielberg is free!

From Coming Soon:

The principals of DreamWorks SKG have completed a long-anticipated deal with one of India’s largest entertainment conglomerates to set up a new $1.2 billion film company.

The deal gives DreamWorks co-founder Steven Spielberg and DreamWorks Chief Executive Stacey Snider the financial support they need to leave Viacom Inc.’s Paramount Pictures and start their new venture.

Under the signed agreement, Mumbai-based Reliance ADA Group will invest $500 million equity and provide another $700 million in debt through J.P. Morgan Chase & Co. toward the new venture, which will produce a slate of about six films a year.

Paramount said it is releasing the DreamWorks principals and employees from their contracts. “To facilitate a timely and smooth transition, Paramount has waived certain provisions from the original deal to clear the way for the DreamWorks principals and their employees to join their new company without delay.” The new company will be headed by Spielberg and Snider.

This is a long time coming. As a matter of fact, we last wrote about the rumor of Dreamworks receiving outside investment from India in June, when it was suggested that David Geffen leaked news of the deal to ruffle feathers at Paramount.

Expect Spielberg, Geffen and Snider to hand in letters of resignation to Paramount in the next few days, then you can look forward to several posts about shifting properties, because you know they’ll be some.

And the other big news of the day concerns two of America’s current obsessions, forever cursed to ride the fine line between sweethearts and the internet’s most reviled: superhero movies and Seth Rogen.

From the Columbia Press Release:

Stephen Chow, one of Asia’s most popular box-office draws as the award-winning star and director of such films as Kung Fu Hustle, CJ7, and Shaolin Soccer, will direct Seth Rogen and star opposite him as Kato in Columbia Pictures’ The Green Hornet, set for release June 25, 2010, it was announced today by Doug Belgrad and Matt Tolmach, presidents of Columbia Pictures. The screenplay is by Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg, who will also executive produce. Neal H. Moritz is the producer through his Original Film production company.

My thumbs are sore. I thought I vowed never to get an X Box 360 for that exact reason, but now I have no X Box 360 and sore thumbs anyway.

I’m unable to form what I’m sure would be a sarcastic and witty comment to come after that piece of news, because I’m pretty tired from sitting in a courthouse all day using my iPod Touch to surf the internet so I could save battery on my laptop. Just be assured that whatever I would have written would have been hilarious, and you would have told all your friends about this site.

Maybe then I wouldn’t feel so bad about being an inherently biased man, unfit for civic service.

P.S. I swear this is true: When the guy at the podium said the state of New York thanked us for performing our duty, a guy behind me literally chuckled like Bevis from Bevis and Butt-Head and said: “Heh. Doodie.”

Can’t make that shit up.