We don’t think we’d ever hear of the day when someone brought legal action against Paris Hilton for NOT promoting something. There’s that Paris-centric episode of South Park where all the little girls dress like whores to emulate Hilton, and we always thought we’d hear a debacle over the real-life encounters that could arise from a world of Paris.

Like: how can we expect people to take her seriously after they’ve seen her porno? How are we going to market The Simple Life when one of our stars has this porno? Basically, the whole phenomena of Paris Hilton becoming five-or-six times bigger in the media because she was in this night-shot skin flick where she was more concerned with her phone than the dude she was with. The dude got to date Pam Anderson and Paris Hilton became one of the most famus people in the world. We were expecting lawsuits like: “Tell Paris Hilton to stop getting her slutty photos taken while she’s holding a Coke.”

Instead, we get this weirdness:

Paris Hilton didn’t do enough pledging for a 2006 sorority comedy, according to a lawsuit filed Tuesday.

Worldwide Entertainment Group Inc. filed the lawsuit in U.S. District Court in Miami, alleging the 27-year-old model-actress-heiress owes $75,000 in damages for not fulfilling promotional obligations.

Hilton entered into an agreement in 2004 for the production and distribution of the movie “National Lampoon’s Pledge This!,” according to the lawsuit. Hilton starred in the film and received credit as an executive producer.

The Miami-based concern said it paid Hilton and her company, Paris Hilton Entertainment Inc., $1 million for “Hilton’s acting services” and for “reasonable promotion and publicity” for the movie, which was released in 2006 and featured Hilton as the president of an exclusive sorority.

Paris Hilton owing someone $75K is like Dave owing another guy a handjob; just keep the pictures off of Facebook and he’ll pay up.

Sorry this had to hit the papers, Paris, but we’re guessing you’re already signing a check and cancelled one of your two-dozen trips to Vegas…

…says the man blogging watching the Olympics on his futon.

(Hilton’s next gig is Repo! The Genetic Opera which, sadly, looks okay)