We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: whomever Twisted Pictures gets to design the posters for their SAW franchise are f*ckin’ geniuses. The newest edition to the series’ intriguing poster art features the guy with his head in a box from the trailer and the tagline: “You won’t believe how it ends.”

We would never assume that we’ll believe how a SAW movie ends. We’ve never seen it coming before.

Guess we’ll have to find out on October 24th.

Palin, folks! Sarah Palin: the first female Governor of Alska has been declared the Republican Vice Presidential Nominee, and we can’t decide of the Democrats just locked the election or if the American people are stupid enough to put an old man in the driver’s seat with an Pro-Life, one-term governor from a non-contiguous state in the position to take the reigns on a national scale.

We are ready to make this statement though: Election 2008 has become pure entertainment. A black guy and a blue collar plagiarist vs and old flip-flopping veteran and a Republican woman? Brilliant. Already 100 times better than Swing Vote.

Either way, with CNN’s buzzing about the latest development, it’s easy to miss the new clip from Olver Stone’s W they debuted, were we get to see how Josh Brolin takes on pre-presidential President Bush and his first meeting with Laura.

Ironically, this would have made a good first preview.

With news of Michael Lohan’s father’s death (the death of the father of Michael Lohan, for those that do not like apostrophes), we thought we might as well cover the Battle Of The Lohans: Michael (Lindsay’s father) Vs. Lindsay and Samantha Ronson.

By this point, everyone is kind of accepting that Lindsay and Samantha are lovers of some sort, and the two are constantly together, baffling non-lesbians worldwide.

Then came news that Samantha Ronson had been given a tell-all book deal, and Michael Lohan was pretty sure that the book wasn’t going to be about Mark Ronson, Sam’s famous DJ brother or Charlotte Ronson, who is some sort of designer. The Lohans think, and rightfully so, that Ronson is about to dish on Lindsay, so they began the separation process.

ABC News sums it up:

On Wednesday, in the latest chapter of their years-long estrangement, she told “Access Hollywood”: “He’s out of control. … I want him to stop hurting and talking to the media about the people I love.”

Lindsay was responding to his assertion to E! that Samantha Ronson, her BFF, is “using my daughter.”

Thursday, Michael shot back at the 22-year-old rehab alum/actress-on-the-mend.

“Who’s out of control? Whose life is out of control? Give me a break,” he told ABCNews.com. “Going from place to place, being dragged around by Samantha so she can make more money off of Lindsay being there when she spins … She’s gone from making $7 million to less than a million a movie. Who’s out of control?

“I go to church,” he continued. “I go and help people in rehab. That’s control. How can she say I’m out of control?”

Thems fightin’ words!

Which, of course, lead both Lindsay and Samantha Ronson to their MySpace blogs, both written in eerily similar ultra-hyphened phrases, leading some – including us – to believe that Sam Ronson is acting as the couple’s spokesperson.

From Sam Ronson:

i really don’t want to say anything because i feel like he wins- he, being the man who is so desperate for attention that he goes to the media whenever possible- i know i am being used, i am just a pawn- easy to sacrifice in order to feed his addiction. I was angry when i first read his attack on me, but- for me- i believe that actions speak louder than words… so now i just pity him- i am not standing in his way- i am not the reason that he has no contact with his daughter- he is- his need to throw a tantrum for the whole world to hear is- i am not going to go into a play by play defense- i feel no need to publicly defend my role in lindsay’s life- i’m just sorry that she likes me more than him.
p.s. i’m not the one that is so lost that i need to use my relationship with lindsay to earn a living…. i am, always will and always have been here for her for her- not for anything else….so I think it’s safe to say that there is not now and never will be a tell all….. written by me….. when does your book come out mr. lohan?

And Lindsay’s:

If you have something to say to me, say it to my face- that’s what i have believed my whole life- don’t be a coward and say it to others first, let alone all the media in the world- i think we know where the rest of this blog is going…
If you guessed it had to do with my father- then you guessed right! It really hurts, because i have tried- after all that my mother and siblings have gone through, i really tried to make things work- For the hope of having a father again-wanting things to change- even though people have said, some people will forever remain the same.
Having said that- the people were right, and he is yet to change- but this time, without his daughter by his side- He has become a public embaressment and a bully- To my family, my co-workers, my friends, and a girl that means the world to me (its obvious who that is).
He has no idea what is going on in my life because i have chosen not to involve him in it- His recent attack on my life and my loved ones is simply for an ADDICTION THAT HE HAS- FAME. Why he feels the need to comment on anything in my life that i may want to keep private, is beyond comprehension- If he really cared about me and my life, then he would learn to respect my wishes by staying out of it.
Samantha has not and would never sell me out. Nor has my mother, who is wonderful.
This further proves that any information that my father has about me or the people in my life is internet based- and about as accurate as a page six item.
I’m not going to engage any further, though i probably could go on…
I have said enough, i have a therapist, and it is not the the camera man at x17.

So does Sam Ronson have a tell-all coming? Will it bring back the hyphen?

The Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince shuffle continues as 20th Century Fox has decided to move Baz Luhrmann’s Hugh Jackman/Nicole Kidman epic pic, Australia, from November 14th to November 26th.

This give Luhrmann some extra time in the editing room (he’s shooting pick-ups we reported, exclusive by default because no one really looked at the pictures), and gets Australia out of the way of the Quantum of Solace, which moved its release day to the 14th of November to challenge Transporter 3.

Things still haven’t settled.

Could this really be happening? Could we be looking forward to the Mark Wahlberg flick that follows up The Happening? Are we looking forward to a video game adaptation we were skeptical about ever since production started.

This new trailer brings up all those questions, because Max Payne doesn’t look half bad. The fe parts that have us worried look like the above screen-cap, which will always remind us of the promise of Schwarzenegger and Gabriel Byrne in End of Days that ended up being “that under-performing and under-written movie End of Days.”

As it stands now, Max Payne has a 45% chance of failing on an End of Days scale, a 50% chance of being tolerable and a 5% chance of being awesome.

Just the fact that we have raised our expectations based on a few posters and two trailers is staggering.

Because it’s Marky Mark and Mila Kunis in the lead roles.

Oh, well, see you in October.

Full teaser, under the cut!

The guy hasn’t even messed up his supposed God of War adaptation yet, and he’s already looking to maul other franchises. Bret “The Rat” Ratner directed such films as Rush Hour, Rush Hour 2, Rush Hour 3 and X-Men 3, which killed the franchise so dead that rumors suggest they will rely on prequels for a few films to avoid dealing with that whole clusterfuck.

Now, he’s telling MTV his awesome idea for a new way to mess things up:

“I love ‘Guitar Hero’ and I think it’s a part of pop culture. I would love to do a ‘Guitar Hero’ movie, if Activision would ever let me. I’m trying to convince them, but why would you have a movie screw up such a huge franchise? Not that I would make a bad movie. So that would be cool, to do a ‘Guitar Hero’ movie. ”

And here is his idea for the plot:

“It could be about a kid from a small town who dreams of being a rock star and he wins the ‘Guitar Hero’ competition. One of these dreams-[come-true] kind of concepts.”

Um, did this guy miss the entire Guitar Queer-o episode of South Park (watch it for free here)? It basically shat all over that idea before it was even a Bret Ratner idea (they are so ahead of their time!).

Ratner also mentions that he’s still spinning his gears over a God of War adaptation, but isn’t half as excited about it as he is about this Guitar Hero lameness:

All he would say is that he’s “doing a movie version of ‘God of War,’” declining to provide an update on the status of the project nor his ideal casting for the possible film’s roles.

You know why a Guitar Hero movie won’t work? Because a film can be good and include Guitar Hero, but can’t be good and be about Guitar Hero. No one cares if they aren’t playing it themselves.

We’re afraid of similar problems on the Facebook movie, but we are convinced Aaron Sorkin can find an interesting way in for audiences. The Rat, on the other hand? Less convinced that is going to work out.

Mulder is a sex addict! It makes so much sense!

David Duchovny, currently in theaters for his X-Files role of Fox Mulder and currently on TV as a horny writer on his Showtime series Californication, jas checked himself into a rehab center for sex addcition.

David has two children with his wife, actress Tea Leoni, who has been pretty much dormant since Fun With Dick And Jane in 2005. They’re names are Madelaine West, 9, and Kyd, 6.

Kyd? Real funny.

The NY Daily News chooses to end their article in this fashion:

Duchovny gave no details of his addiction, but fans got a taste of the actor’s sex life last month during a press tour when he revealed that he and Tea got very steamy in a sauna during a getaway weekend in Vancouver.

“We were just all over each other - the sauna wasn’t going to stop me,” said Duchovny, “and I recovered pretty quickly.”

Tea, however, passed out.

Man, this story is all class, isn’t it?

The title is based on a song B&U’s Ryan and I sung together when se saw David Duchovny playing with his children in a Manhattan Park. He wasn’t paying attention to us, so the song went something like this:

“Why won’t you love me/David Duchovny/Got a tattoo on your ankle/Gonna kidnap your children…”

Needless to say, we didn’t kidnap his children, though with this new interesting personal tidbit, he probably would have been up for loving us if we had just asked nicely.