Today is the day, male movie fans. The day where, if you are lucky enough to have a special someone, that special someone will bring up the Sex and the City movie.

Maybe you are one of those guys lucky enough to live far away from one of the coasts, so your girl is more curious about fashion, high society and ridiculous middle-aged sex because of HBO and middle-America advertising. Or, maybe you are one of those unlucky guys who happens to be seeing someone in Los Angeles or New York, and your girl is unable to draw the line between snappy ficition and what their lives “should be like.”

Either way, Sex and the City was released today, and for once in our miserable lives, not having a significant other means we’ll be shielded from the blast…

Rotten Tomatoes gives the film a “meh” 53%, with a lot of the positive reviews having ridiculous poll quotes that seemingly have nothing to do with the film, but everything to do with the phenomena.

Like Chuck Barney form the Contra Costa Times: Isn’t it encouraging to see that a big summer flick can be tethered to something other than a sweaty male action hero?

Or Peter Rainer from the Christian Science Monitor: As gender-segregated experiences go, SATC is preferable to, say, that idiotic beefcake epic 300. The amusing thing about SATC is that it objectifies men in much the same way that most male-oriented movies objectify women.

Or Lisa Bornstien of the Rocky Mountain News: If Sex and the City is a hit, it will be partly because it’s an enjoyable and somewhat true depiction of female friendship. But grown women will also go to see it because, finally, someone made a movie for them.

Hey Lisa, Peter and Chuck: Those are NOT reviews! These are excuses. The negative reviews read like criticism, making note of “emotional content… drowned out by the incessant pursuit and plugging of designer shoes, gowns and handbags. (LA Daily)”

We are at ground zero of a cultural Box Office weekend. Sure, Sex and the City is going to take it, but – from the sound of it – not because it’s funny, well-made, well acted or well-written.

So, go see what you have to, but we’ll be making sure SarahJessicaParkerLooksLikeAHorse.com gets enough viewers over the weekend.