Amy Winehouse’s family loves her so much they’ll let her marry a useless lout like Blake Fielder-Civil and they’ll also call up a radio station and rant about why the world should leave the young heroin fiend/award-winning singer alone.

A woman claiming to be Winehouse’s aunt phoned BBC Radio 5 this morning and pleaded the star’s case, live on the air. According to Amy’s publicist, this woman is not an aunt but a distant cousin. If that’s the case, I wish I had a cousin like this one. “Auntie Sue,” who is in fact Cousin Roma, claimed that the Winehouse clan secretly wants Amy thrown in the slammer. “Maybe that would help get her off the drugs,” she said.