On the set of My Super Ex-Girlfriend, Uma Thurman received a card from a fan. It depicted drawing of an open grave, a headstone and a man standing on the edge of a razor blade. A spiral of random words referred to “chocolate, mouth, soft, kissing” and declared, “My hands should be on your body at all times.”

The card was from one Jack Jordan, and Uma super-fan who had also threatened to kill himself if Uma refused to meet him.

Jack says he first developed a “crush” on Uma during High School when he saw her in The Adventures of Baron Munchausen. This feeling intensified during the theatrical run of Kill Bill, when Jack sent Uma a card reading: “I was overcome by a tenderness and affection for you that I’ve never felt in my life. I feel that we are destined to meet.”

Jack was later diagnosed as schizophrenic and sent Uma a staggering 20 cards while hospitalized, all begging for a personal meet’n’greet.

Uma finally brought him up on charges in the Manhattan Superior court and he was convicted of stalking and aggravated harassment just moments ago.

37-year-old Jack still lives with his parents when not sleeping out of his car, so at least his digs will improve slightly (have you ever lived in a car? Well, we’ve never gone to prison).