If the first Newlyweds with Jessica Simpson and that guy no one cares about anymore taught us anything it was that the Simpson family is controlled by a fame-hungry patriarch that uses his daughters as puppets regardless of the reality TV fact that couples cannot withstand the scrutiny of having to manufacture a sitcom structure in their everyday lives (this week Jessica visits a zoo!).

Did you guys see that was one long sentence? Boo-yah!

Cashing in once again on the formula that his daughters saying stupid things equals money is Papa Joe Simpson, who is rumored to be “in talks” with MTV to revive Newlyweds, this time with Ashlee and Pete Wentz.

We an see the pitch now: “It’s like Newlyweds, but these two are actually still making relevant music!” The joke not being that even her own father recognized Jessica’s fall from musical grace followed her rise to reality TV stardom, but rather that MTV probably sees Ashlee Simpson’s new album and the continuing tour of Fallout Boy to be especially relevant.

Point being, even if OK! Magazine is making this rumor up, the chances of someone reading it and thinking it’s a good idea will probably lead to talks between MTV and the Simpson camp.

It’s the same school of thought that something isn’t real until you recognize it.

And, yes, we’re shying away from the fact that the Simp/Wentz union has been doomed to end by the bride’s father. If he doesn’t have to treat them like real people, why should we?