Imagineered transcript from inside Disney’s secret office directly below the Epcot center

EXEC ONE: Boy, this Miley Cyrus thing is really a bigger deal than we thought.

EXEC TWO: Hanna Montana makes too much money to let this stop us. It will roll over like all these stupid news items picked up by the internet.

EXEC ONE: I dunno, this might have some staying power. Did you see Ellen? We might be able to roll this onto Annie Leibovitz.

EXEC TWO: Leibovitz will run for cover. This won’t hurt her, it will hurt our Hanna Montana millions.

EXEC ONE: We should just pull Cyrus then.

EXEC TWO: Agreed.

EXEC ONE: I can’t finish this Stem-Cell Stew we made from the abortions we forced all the pregnant costume characters to get.

EXEC TWO: If you’re not going to finish it, I will. Waste not.

[REAL NEWS: Disney pulls Miley Cyrus promotions: “You won’t be seeing her for a while. The company is keeping her away from events … They’re trying to keep her contained.”]