Yoko Ono is kind of a bitch. Yeah, sorry. We had to say it.

She broke up the Beatles, she seems incapable of doing anything worthwhile as an artist, she pays for crappy soft-serve ice cream at Sarah Lawrence (where she went to college) and she keeps suing people for stupid-ass reasons.

There are lots of reasons to hate Yoko, but John Lennon apparently never discovered even one. Over time, our opinion of John Lennon has actually mutated to: “Great musician, pretty good thinker, horrible taste in women.”

Why are our panties in a twist now? Because she’s needlessly suing again. Two different lawsuits in two days.

Yesterday, from AP:

Footage of John Lennon smoking pot, writing songs and discussing putting the hallucinogenic drug LSD in President Richard Nixon’s tea is the focus of a court case starting in Boston next week over whether the video should be made public.
The case pits Lennon’s widow, Yoko Ono, against Lawrence, Massachusetts-based World Wide Video, which claims ownership of nine hours of raw footage of the former Beatle and Ono that was filmed just weeks before the “Fab Four” broke up in 1970.
World Wide, a New England consortium of Beatles collectors, wants to release the black-and-white footage as a two-hour film titled “3 days in the life” about Lennon during a pivotal and turbulent time for the most celebrated band of the 1960s.
Rolling Stone magazine dubs it “awesome John Lennon footage you might never see.”

What makes this even more stupid is that World Wide bought the videotapes from the man that shot them: Yoko’s ex-husband Anthony Cox.

Cox sold the tapes to World Wide who had them stolen. They eventually recovered the tapes, but when they did, Yoko had bought copies from a man in Florida who claimed to rep World Wide and now she says she has the copyright.

This is Yoko’s fault because: Lennon knew he was being filmed, World Wide bought it from the guy who shot it and WE WANT TO SEE IT!

Now. Today from Reuters:

John Lennon’s widow, Yoko Ono, and his sons are suing the filmmakers of “Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed” for using the song “Imagine” in the documentary without permission.

Yoko Ono, son, Sean Ono Lennon, and Julian Lennon, John Lennon’s son from his first marriage, along with privately held publisher EMI Blackwood Music Inc filed suit in U.S. District Court in Manhattan seeking to bar the filmmakers and their distributors from continuing to use “Imagine” in the movie. 

They are also seeking unspecified damages.

The documentary, which features Ben Stein, an actor, comedian and former speechwriter for President Richard Nixon, looks at alleged discrimination against scientists and teachers who support so-called intelligent design as an alternative to Darwin’s theory of evolution.

This one makes a little more sense. First, because we’ve gotten the “Ben Stein supports intelligent design” SPAM e-mail, like, 50 times. Also, the Lennon estate should have a certain degree of control over it’s songs and if Expelled used it without permission, they should get sued.

But…why sue for damages now? Part of the suit is just to bar the use of the song in the film, though just a cease and desist letter from the Lennon estate would probably do the job right quick. Why should we pay Yoko Ono et al for using “Imagine” of all things?

It just seems like a stupid way to settle something that should have never been an issue.

Anyway, we have tons of more reasons to hate Yoko Ono. So many that when she stood amongst a table of guns, inviting people to shoot here as an art piece, we looked into the legal ramifications of shooting Yoko Ono.

Turns out she legally could have prosecuted us, even when she asked as part of the piece.

Judging from just these two days, she would have sued us too.