Rapper and “reality TV star” Vanilla Ice was arrested and booked yesterday in a Palm Beach County Jail on charges of simple domestic battery.

Police responded to a domestic battery call from Ice’s wife, Laura Van Winkle who claimed that her husband was hitting and kicking her. When the police got to the house, Robert Van Winkle, AKA Mr. Ice was on his motorcycle 2 blocks from the house.

The police brought Van Winkle-Ices to talk over the domestic dispute, and the way the local paper describes it, the officers were in for a series of crazy stories of no consequence:

Back at the house on Trianon Place, Laura Van Winkle appeared uninjured and was less forthcoming, saying she did not want to deal with media attention but wants a divorce, according to a deputy’s report. She said her husband had not hit or kicked her, but had pushed her.

“He started yelling at me for going out to buy a bedroom set. In front of my daughter,” she told a deputy, the arrest report says. “I’m sorry I can’t say any more until I talk to an attorney.”

Her husband, in turn, told deputies that he and his wife had been arguing since the previous day.

He said his wife is bipolar and takes medication but still has irrational and argumentative episodes and had thrown a picture frame from a rear balcony to the ground, where it shattered near him and their 8- and 10-year-old children.

He denied pushing his wife, the report says. He said he left on his motorcycle so they could cool down.

Ok, there must be some soft language in this article, because how hard does a push have to be before it crosses into “simple domestic battery?” Or, alternatively, why is nothing made of Mrs. Ice’s exaggeration, followed by her glossing over of the details unless she talked to her lawyer?

A woman and her husband are fighting because he yelled in front of their daughter and somehow it escalated to a push and a motorcycle ride.

Vanilla, may we call him Vanilla?, even claims that the push never went down.

We are in no way suggesting that attacking one’s partner physically or verbally is a good thing, but where’s the line of battery?

Don’t feel too bad for Ice, this isn’t his first offense. He spent a night in jail after a domestic dispute in 2001 as well.