“We know there has been a lot of speculation recently about Pete and I, and we wanted our fans to be the first to know, because you guys are the best,” Simpson said in a statement posted on People magazine’s website Wednesday. “Yes, we are thrilled to share that we are happily engaged.” Simpson’s father, Joe Simpson, told People he’s “totally happy” and “so excited to have Pete as part of (our) family.”

This is the statement that ruined our day.

Ashlee is hot in a reverse-bag sort of way. A “bag” would be a woman you find attractive, but you would put a bag over her head before copulating with her. Ashlee stands for most things we hate, but we’d meet her in the tangles of her silk sheets if she promised not to talk.

Oh yeah, and there is nothing good about Pete Wentz whatsoever.