If one were to picture having sex with her, just hypothetically, we would imagine that when Rachel gets horny, she gets angry. Just more and more pissed until she pops in an orgasm of pleasure. Sadly, she’s probably bitten off the head of her mate in rage like some sort of Praying Mantis that runs on Dunkin Donuts coffee.

Page Six says that Rachel’s daytime talk show is in a bad way ratings wise. It’s fallen to a 2.0 Neilson rating, which is pretty dismal and the average Rachel Ray Show viewer is 55.

A rep for Ray pointed out that the average age for Oprah’s viewers is 54.6, and told P6, “Our show is renewed through 2010 - so canceling is not an option.”

Yet, the rumblings continue.

If Ray loses her show, that means we only have to walk around being annoyed by her television commercials, multiple cooking books that are given their own shelves in bookstores, the 30 Minute Meals show, Rachel Ray’s Tasty Travels, $40 A Day reruns, Food Network specials and her scary smile on the cover of her magazine; Rachel Ray Everyday.

Honestly, we think about God less than we think about Rachel Ray, because we see her watching us from everywhere.

She’s even on the Wheat Thins.