It’s an unspoken rule in Hollywood that movie posters must have big boobs on them. Which is funny, since Hollywood’s spoken rules read like a string of constant body-image insults around the tone of: “No fat chicks.”
But we forgive them, because if we don’t make someone our beauty ideal, then we won’t have any fantasies and we’ll go back to that dark period in our life when we were watching…*shiver*…home made porno…
Most recently, The Daily Mail realized that Kate Hudson’s As were Bs on the Fools Gold poster.
This follows a long line of boob-enhancing traditions on movie posters including notoriously flat Kiera Knightley and the King Arthur poster, Emma Watson and the Imax Harry Potter 5 poster, and (inexplicably) Jessica Alba in the Into the Blue promos:
Not to mention Disney’s digital breast reduction on Lindsay Lohan for the family flick Herbie: Fully Loaded. She was not loaded fully is all we’re saying.
This altering goes numerous ways when it comes to subtly tweaking an image to push a message. It’s not always about boobs, or even sex.
They made Kelly Clarkson’s ass smaller for the Justin to Kelly poster (and subsequently shrink her ass in every other promo photo):
And made OJ blacker for Time:
The one instance we’ll stand for this is when the artist behind the erotic Pirates of the Caribbean porn grew Knightley’s breasts.
Because if you’re going to go all the way in Hollywood, give us some Holy Wood…
Eh? Eh?
We kind of want to hang ourselves after that joke.
