Nothing Says Punk Rock Like The Color Pink – Avril is on the cover of Maxim Magazine, joining Heidi Montag in the hot-people-that-annoy-the-living-shit-out-of-us category.

Fat Actress, Now With Less Actress – Cheers to the National Enquirer for suggesting that Kirstie Alley was fired as the Jenny Craig spokeswoman for being too fat. Though we thought they fired her for being ugly.

Try Not To Picture It – Christina Aguilera told Hello! Magazine that she had a c-section birth because she feared vaginal tearing.

Too Hot To Bother – Rihanna is rumored to be dating Chris Brown, but they are both too attractive for anyone to make a huge fuss about it.

Too Not To Bother – Bai Ling’s mugshot isn’t even funny trashy, just plain up wrecked looking.

Jamie Lynn Spears= Slut? – So says Star magazine who quotes a source as saying: “Casey was not the first guy she slept with — or the last.” Runs in the family.