Viacom is in the practice of hiring “freelancers” or “interns” who will work for months without seeing any benefits. The best part about being a outh-oriented network, it seems, is pulling from the endless pool of graduates too green to know a bad deal when they see one.

Viacom rocked the boat in December when it briefly told its freelancers that their health insurance would be pulled. Then “pulled” became “reduced.” They sparked some protests, which forced Viacom subsidiary MTVN quashed by telling everyone they would be able to stay on the reduced United Healthcare plan or get moved to a staff position and be matriculated to the adequate MTV Aetna plan.

The cycle of new employees being what it is over at the baby factory, MTVN is trying to decide what constitutes a staff position. Really, they are trying to decide how valuable an employee needs to be to get his/her teeth fixed and seasonal virus medicated. Or, you know, serious medical maladies paid for.

The gavel came down a few hours ago with this memo from Catherine Houser, the new HR Nazi:

Our question: What does “transcending a particular project or show” imply?

Are the poor TRL camera operators going to have insurance to talk about when they go to the hospital, rather than their usual repertoire of: “remember Carson Daly?”

Probably not.