Paris Hilton is coming back to the big screen. Is everyone as psyched as we are?
If the answer is “no,” then you either assumed we were psyched or knew we didn’t care but actually want to see the movie yourself.
If rumors around this one are true, this film will see a theatrical release, providing Paris Hilton with her first starring role.
The synopsis goes a little like this: Nate Cooper (Joel Moore from Art School Confidential) has grown up to be a loser, so he decides to go in search of his first crush, Cristabel, in Los Angeles. Cristabel (Hilton) is still hot™ after all these years but is still close with her ugly friend June Phigg. Cristabel took pity on the ugly kid early on in life (flashback sequences!) and refuses to go out unless June has a date too.
I believe that because of the obvious plot correlations, we’ve been calling this The Taming of the Shrewd, which we should really trademark before all the punny reviews start coming out.
If you would like a sneak peek at what Ms. Hilton has in store for the film-going public, check out these six clips from Crave Online!
Clip One: Flashback 1
In which there is no Paris Hilton, just a weird looking boy falling in love with the kid hired to play a young Hilton.
Clip Two: Another Flashback
We get to put off seeing Paris for a bit to spend more time with the attractive (not in a pedophilia way) young Christabel and a young Nottie making friends.
Clip Three: Flashback The Third
Young Phigg gets a Valentine while trying to kill herself. It’s not as dark as it sounds. Though it should have been…
Clip Four: Number
Paris Hilton makes her first Hottie appearance, mostly to show off her lips and boobs in slow motion. Sadly, no jogging.
Clip Five: Picnic
You know what never gets old? That gag where the main character is making up a person and makes up a crappy name based on something he/she is looking at. In this case: Cole Slawson.
Clip Six: Mr. Perfect
Nate’s master plan backfires during the double date he set up in the previous clip (I’m the blonde one).
