Unless you like to see D-List celebrities on the beach in Hawaii while you’re snowed in during your white family Chrstmas, you’ll thank us for compiling the biggest non-stories to take place during the Holiday lull.

Here’s hoping someone does something stupid at a New Year’s Eve party (we hope it’s not us).

We can probably count on Barron Hilton:

Barron Hilton’s Secrets On Facebook [Pink Is The New Blog] – After being caught in a hotel with another 16-year-old (a girl at least), the youngest Hilton family embarrassment has some interesting posts on his Facebook Profile

Madonna-Directed Film to Premiere in Berlin – Madge is coming to the Berlin Film Festival with “a comedy/drama/musical/romance” featuring a Russian immigrant, ballet school, lap dancing, cultural revolution, poetry, night club, punk rock band, book writer, dominatrix and gypsy. Really.

Nas’ N-Word Album – We don’t like writing “N-word” any more than you do, which is why the leaked cover for Nas’ newest album has us preparing for more common usage.

Milo And Hayden Admit They Are Dating – But can they both heal like their characters on Heroes? If so, sex must be wild.

Zach Braff Is A Bad Kisser – We know this isn’t news, but if we disseminate it enough, maybe we can wipe that smug look off his face.